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Next Secret Passion Episode Now Up!

Hi everyone,
So judging by the comments and view counts over the past couple of days (yes I keep a close eye on them lol) plus the sorta-kinda cliff hanger ending last time, I think it's more than time for an SP episode :)

Thank you for all your wonderful, thoughtful feedback *hugs*
You all keep me sooo motivated to make SP the best it can be.
Those wondering about other stories I've written like FL and DH, please see my comments on my last post below. I answered best as I can and more updates will be coming soon.
Special shout out to Lahana. I hope you're enjoying your new phone and the fact that the first thing you did after getting it was to type in this blog's address and leave me a comment because you never could before... well, you made me speechless and really made my day *hugs*

Before I post the link to the extra long update, word of fair warning about Secret Passion--this chapter in particular. I know most of you are regular readers and know this already by now, but I want to reiterate that from the start this one has been a mature, increasingly dark story.
It is not meant to be light and romcomy like Baby Hold On. Trust me, this is tough stuff for me to write and probably for you all to read as well sometimes but as in life, there's darkness but always a glimmer of light... eventually. Please be forewarned that this story is not just about romance and passion, there is violence, language, tragedy and aspects of horror.

That being said, I think there's something sad and beautiful about this story and how far these characters have come from Episode 1. Hope you stick with SP till the end and after that too :)

Happy reading!

LINK TO UPDATE: Episode 41 Death & Loss



By TINA & Satina
Episode 41: Death & Loss
Nearly thirty years ago…

The squirming, black-haired infant gave a mighty wail, surprising for one his size. Bending, Samaira pressed a kiss to his clammy forehead, hushing him with soft murmurs.
Her husband pulled his gaze from where their six year old was playing in the shrubbery nearby, shooting her a knowing grin. “I think he’s hungry again.”
They were having their breakfast on Sheesh Mahal’s well-maintained lawns, a habit they’d formed since the first days of their marriage. Usually it was just the two of them, but in recent weeks, a guest had taken to joining them so regularly the cooks knew to prepare three cups of chai without being told.
The man in question raised an eyebrow, his gaze flying from Samaira’s delicate features to the red-faced infant in her arms and back again. “Again? But he was just fed, wasn’t he?”
Arav Singh Raizada’s mouth twisted in a familiar smirk. “He’s my son, of course he won’t be satisfied so easily. Wait till you have kids, Horatio, you’ll understand then.”
His best friend bristled. “I wish you’d stop calling me that. It isn’t my name.”
“Horatio was Hamlet’s most faithful friend and you’re mine. Just accept it and stop blubbering about it, will you?” He didn’t wait for a reply and his dear friend didn’t give any, frowning down at his tea.
Arav’s gaze swept again to his daughter. She was now scooping out dirt from the ground and leaving such damage behind the gardeners would be none too happy. Not that he much cared about their likely indignation. He spoiled his daughter rotten and he knew it. But he couldn’t seem to help himself. She was a miniature Samaira after all. His eyes flew to his wife and his heart pounded as it always did when she was near.
Her lovely eyes darted up to him as he suddenly stood. “Where are you going?”
“To our daughter. It looks like any minute now she’s going to take a bite out of the dirt cake she’s made.”
Samaira craned her neck to look. “Oh God. Hurry, love.”
He did hurry, but not before swooping down on his delectable wife and stealing a kiss from the corner of her mouth. She flushed and glanced at him warningly.
“Relax,” he said with a grin, kissing her again. “It’s just Horatio.”
Before she could say a word, he was walking away, calling out Anjali’s name. Samaira, her face still hot, smoothed a hand down her son’s back, rocking him gently. Though her husband would never understand it and call her silly, she was too embarrassed to even glance at his friend.
If she had, she would have seen that the man in the lawn chair opposite hers had gone rigid, his hands fisting on the wicker armrests. His greedy, hungry eyes traced over her, lingering on the faint moistness on her lips. Red fury clouded his vision for a moment and he had to force himself to relax.
Just the sight of them near one another these days made him want to attack the other man, draw his blood out till Arav could no longer lay one filthy finger on Samaira. When he imagined all the intimacies they had shared and would no doubt share again later tonight, he felt as if he would go mad. The pest in her arms wailed again and he had to fight to keep from snapping.
“It must be tiring,” he commented drily. “Taking care of two children.”
Samaira smiled, looking angelic in the morning light, her pale pink saree enhancing her delicate complexion. “It is sometimes, but mostly it’s a joy. I never imagined I could be so happy. I was quite content with having just Arav in my life, but he’s given me these two angels on top of his love.”
His smile didn’t reach his eyes, but she was too busy with her son to notice. “You love him very much, don’t you?”
Her face seemed to glow. “More than anything.”
He had no idea why he had asked the question, he had already known her response, but sometimes he revelled in the pain. There was something dark and terrible about pain, but he found a strange affinity for it. He wanted to wield it, master it…
“There’s something we wanted to discuss with you…” Samaira started to call her husband over, but he quickly laid his hand over hers, feeling the slight contact ricochet to every one of his nerve endings.
He swallowed thickly. “Arav’s busy. You can tell me anything yourself surely. We’re friends now, aren’t we?”
“Of course…” She smiled down at her son. “It’s about Arnav actually. We want you to be his godfather.”
Godfather? Horatio was speechless for once. Oh, if only he’d been the boy’s father… Everything would have been perfect. He could see it so clearly… Samaira’s lithe body warm and soft against his, her lips parting beneath his as their children laughed and played in the distance. Children that had his features.
But no, those were most definitely Arav’s eyes staring back at him. The boy was almost a miniature of his father and Horatio had hated him on first sight.
“I would be delighted,” he said with a well-practiced smile.
The love of his life beamed at him, and then the pest caught her attention again, his tiny hands grazing her breasts. Horatio ground his teeth. He had to share her now not just with Arav, but two others. It was too much. He was descending deeper into hell every moment he was with her, but he couldn’t keep himself away. He had to have her. One day he would, he vowed.
“He really is hungry. I’ll be right back.”
Arav was suddenly beside her, a dirt-stained Anjali in his arms. “Wait, I’ll come with you.”
“Can I go to? I want to play with Chote.”
“Only after you’ve clean yourself up, Anjali.”
The small family was still fretting over the newborn that no one noticed the jealous, beady eyes trailing after them. Horatio swore out loud the moment he was alone. Forever alone.
His best friend had stolen the woman destined to be his, and Samaira appeared all too happy to follow after Raizada like some lovelorn puppy. She’d born him two children and even now it was he who had the privilege to watch her nurse the crying pest.
Standing, Horatio made a mad dash to his car. His driver knew better than to even glance his way. As soon as he was within the gates of his mansion, one in a long line of many his family owned, he was shaking with fury.
He bellowed at the servants, sent the beautiful arrangement of crystal flowers in the foyer crashing to the floor, and screamed out loud as tormenting images assailed his mind.
A young, white-faced maid caught his attention. She had to be new, the others knew better than to show any reaction. With a vicious curse, he grabbed her wrist and threw her onto the floor.
He gagged her with his handkerchief and then pulled out his belt, mindless in his fury. It was only then, in the dark, powerful realm where pain and pleasure mixed in a potent, dangerous brew that he found himself feeling a bit soothed.
But it was not enough. Nothing would ever be enough.
He had allowed the Raizadas’ silly marriage to go on far too long, he realized. He had to put a stop to it. He might have lost Samaira once, but he would not allow her to slip through his fingers so easily. It was time for drastic measures.
Horatio smiled for the first time all day and dropping the blood-stained belt on the marble tiles, almost skipped off to his music room. There was much to plan.
Present Day
A haze of murderous fury surrounded Arnav. It was familiar and he latched onto it. Though his mind was engulfed with blazing fear and mind-numbing panic, he chose to focus on his anger first and foremost.
“You have ten seconds to get these handcuffs off of me,” he all but growled at the uniformed man before him.
The man ignored the warning, likely used to such bluster, but Arnav was making no idle threats. He made a move to knock down the other man when a voice called out his name.
“Don’t, Mr. Raizada! I have the documents for your release.”
G. Chambers came running, which for a man of his weight was no easy feat. He was ruddy-faced and breathing hard as he stopped before his client.
Arnav paid him no attention, his furious gaze drawn to the other man who trailed in after his lawyer.
“What the fuck are you doing here, NK? I told you to stay with Khushi!”
“Aman is with her at the hospital and someone had to get the lawyer. Khushi needs you right now more than anyone else.”
He swore, his body shaking. “Get these fucking things off of me or so help me God--”
“Release him!” shouted the lawyer. “You cannot keep him a moment longer.”
The head officer glanced over the files. It was as he had expected. Arnav Singh Raizada had pleaded not guilty to all counts. He had cited self-defense in the case of Akash Raizada’s death and no wrongdoing whatsoever in Payal Gupta’s suicide. The former would no doubt hold, but the second claim remained to be verified. Still, they had no way of holding him now. The signed and witnessed statements were all they needed for now.
“Release him.”
A moment after the handcuffs loosened, Arnav was already out the door, running outside. G. Chambers could not of course keep up, but NK chased after him. Arnav slid into the driver’s seat, his face grim and taut with tension.
“Which hospital?”
NK gave him the name and the jeep shot forward. They were breaking every traffic law that probably existed, but NK knew better than to ask his cousin to slow down.
“Get Aman on the phone! Now!”
Aman picked up as always on the first ring. “NK! Where are you? Is boss--”
Arnav made a grab for the phone. “How is my wife?” he ground out.
“I have no idea. I got her here, but they’ve kept me in the waiting room. They won’t tell me a thing because I’m not a direct relative.”
Arnav cursed viciously and threw the phone aside. The drive should have taken them thirty minutes, but he managed it somehow in ten. He barely took the time to brake, tearing out and taking the steps to the hospital’s stately front entrance two at a time. Aman stood up as he entered the crowded waiting room, but he ignored him, charging toward the first white-coated person he saw.
“Where the hell is my wife?”
The man gulped, recognizing him. “This way…”
Arnav followed the man with growing impatience. “Walk faster, dammit! My wife is alone and giving birth. I need to make it on time.”
The man cast a wary look at him. “She already has…”
“What?” He skidded to a halt and fragile hope surged inside him for a moment. “She’s alright then? They’re all okay, aren’t they?”
The doctor did not answer and Arnav felt his control tear apart. “ANSWER ME, DAMMIT! ARE THEY OKAY?”
“S-she… she is… They’re not…”
He grabbed the man’s pristine collar. “What the hell do you mean by that? They’re going to be okay, aren’t they? TELL ME!”
“I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered. “They… they didn’t make it. Your wife’s fall and the premature births were too much…even with the emergency surgery, we couldn’t save them...”
His voice trailed off, but Arnav was no longer listening. Everything stilled within him, his surroundings blurring into a distant roar.
They… they didn’t make it… We couldn’t save them...
He felt his body go numb, his heart lurch in his chest. No… No… NO!
He hadn’t realized he’d shouted till the man backed away from him, watching him cautiously.
“Y-your wife is just through those doors...”
Arnav didn’t recall moving, but he was suddenly pushing the doors open. It was a private room, white-washed and sterile in its appearance. There was no crib in sight, no hint of color, no sound of newborn wails.
There was only a terrible, hollow silence here. A void nothing could fill.
His gaze was drawn immediately to the small, bundled figure lying on the bed. She was pale as the sheets covering her, her dark hair sweaty and tangled about her face.
Khushi. His Khushi.
But the woman he approached looked almost nothing like his wife. All her glow, her vitality seemed to have been snatched away. She appeared very young, fragile and utterly broken.
The sight was jarring. He wanted to blink it away. To rip apart everything in sight.
This couldn’t be real… could it? This couldn’t be his Khushi. His Khushi should have been smiling across at him now, two babies balanced in her arms, her face tired but joyful as he approached. The room would have been packed with so many flowers and balloons, she would have laughed and complained to him there was no way to walk around amidst it all.
This room was all wrong. It was blank and silent.
His children should have been here. He could picture them so clearly… their flailing arms, scrunched up faces, Khushi’s adoring gaze, his absolute state of awe.
No… no… this couldn’t be his wife.
But it was. God help him, it was.
His hand shook as he reached for her. “Khushi…”
She made no response, not even seeming to breathe, her eyes oddly glazed as she stared up at the ceiling.
Fear choked him and he cupped her face urgently in both palms. “Khushi! Khushi, look at me. Love, I’m here. I’m here.”
Something in his voice reached her and as if sensing his wild desperation, she turned to gaze at him, her eyes filling with tears.
Her voice broke on a sob and he threw aside the covers. The next moment, she was in his lap, her arms closing around his neck as her body shuddered against his.
“ARNAV!” She scratched his chest, fighting to get closer, her tears wetting his shirt and seeping to his skin.
He had no words of comfort to give her. He felt in that moment he had nothing at all left to give her. Closing his eyes as if to block it all out, he held her tight against him, his body shaking.
“T-the babies… Our babies…” she sobbed.
His grip tightened and he laid fervent kisses on her brow, her face, every part he could reach. “I know, love… I know…”
She shook her head against him, her gaze suddenly focused and defiant. “It has to be a lie! They can’t be… No, Arnav! NO!”
He wanted nothing more than to tell her it was all lies, some terrible mix up, but there was no way to explain this. To fix this. He felt utterly powerless as he sat on the hospital bed, his wife broken and weeping in his arms.
“I wish I’d died too,” came her soft whisper.
He froze and then pulled away so he could see her clearly. Tremors racked his body as he tilted her chin so she had no choice but to meet his stormy, almost violent gaze. “Don’t you ever say that! Do you hear me? Don’t ever even think that! I will not lose you too!”
She didn’t reply, going limp in his arms, and Arnav couldn’t help but feel it was already too late. As if he’d lost her too.
Khushi felt as if she’d entered a nightmare, a world she no longer recognized. She woke sometime later to find the hospital room dark and Arnav pulling away from her.
“No…” she mumbled, tightening her hold on him.
He was silent as he let her draw him back into the bed. His lips brushed over hers briefly and his arms wound around her trembling body. Their bodies moved all too easily to their usual position: legs tangled beneath the sheets, fingers entwined, her back against the solid, reassuring heat of his chest.
She could recall countless times they’d slept like this before, his body spooning hers, his mouth teasing her nape as his hands teased her breasts and reverently stroked her rounded belly. Her fingers trembled as she laid them on the same spot, tears streaming down her face and into her hair.
She must have slept some time after that because when she next opened her eyes, light was streaming in from the sole window in the room and her husband was gone, his scent lingering on the hospital sheets. Before she could begin to panic, he walked right in, looking strikingly different from the man she knew and loved. He appeared to have aged years overnight, his face haggard, the twinkle in his eyes long gone.
“The paperwork’s done. We can go home now.”
Home? She wanted to tell him there was no home now. There was nothing. No place of peace. No means of escape.
A nurse entered with a wheelchair, but Arnav waved her off, striding to the bed and drawing her up into his arms. He carried her out and Khushi buried her face against the side of his neck.
She heard Aman and NK, even the Khans were there, but she had no energy to face them.
“I’ll drive, Naanav.”
For once, Arnav didn’t argue, sliding into the back with Khushi draped over his lap. Aman took the passenger seat while Bayaz and Tasneem followed in their car.
Arnav smoothed a hand down her back, his mouth soft and achingly tender as he pressed it to the side of her face that remained exposed. His touch was familiar and wholly comforting. It was the only thing that seemed to pierce the painful fog Khushi found herself in.
She didn’t speak a word till they reached Shantivan and were left finally alone. She stared up at her husband as he carefully lowered onto their bed. “D-did you see them?”
His face was grim as he nodded.
“I want to see them too. What did they look like?”
His mind flashed to the image that would forever haunt him. Earlier this morning, he’d stared down at their babies for what had felt like an eternity and at the same time, only a matter of seconds. His eyes had hungrily studied their tiny, too still bodies, the closed eyes, perfect little toes, cementing each detail to memory till his hold had given out and he’d run out, shudders racking his frame.
“T-they were beautiful… two little angels…”
Khushi felt her breath catch and tears slipped from her eyes. “I always thought there was a boy and a girl.”
But she’d been wrong. She’d been wrong about everything, it seemed.
Her husband brushed his lips over her forehead. “Sleep, Khushi. I’ll wake you when it’s time.”
She remembered very little of the harrowing hours that followed. Arnav did wake her, his touch gentle. She was taken in his arms out to the back gardens where a solemn service had been arranged. Despite her husband’s hesitance, he’d let her see their children for the first and last time. Shaking, she’d approached the two, small coffins feeling as if a part of her died with every step forward.
She’d only just gotten a glance at them when the world had spun and darkness had enveloped her in its tight folds.
She’d woken to find the funeral over, their babies buried in the cold, unfeeling ground where she’d once imagined holding them, teaching them to walk and play in the crisp summer grass.
She felt sapped of all energy, as if her very soul had died and left a feeble shadow of her former self behind. There were no more tears left to cry, nothing left to say. The world that had always seemed to her so bright and full of hope and possibilities was now long gone. Every star in the sky seemed to dim until only pain remained.
Lia Stumpost was used to feeling alone. She’d been raised in a series of foster homes, some tolerable but most far worse than others. She had no memory of her real parents, not one clue about who they might have been. Discovered on the mud-stained steps of Stumpost Orphanage at around three months of age, she’d spent the next twenty-two years in various homes, none of which had wanted her completely. Some had simply wanted a nanny, others a servant, and the nicest ones had wanted a companion for their growing children--temporarily though.
She was used to being alone, so she had no idea why it bothered her now. She’d been lucky, incredibly lucky, to find a job like this, she reminded herself. The massive mansion she now called home was unlike anything she’d ever imagined. There was finery in every corner, gilded walkways and marble veined tiles under glittering, crystal chandeliers.
And yet, the home was mostly empty, reminding her of a giant tomb. The team  of servants kept to themselves and not one had introduced themselves to her thus far. When she’d approached one--an elderly woman with hawkish eyes but a motherly look about her--she’d been told in a rather nasty tone to mind her business and stick to her work. Since then, she had avoided any further interaction and done her best to keep out of the way.
So she’d stuck to her wing of the mansion. It was far emptier than other parts and no one came by without express permission. Her bedroom was awe-inspiring, something she’d never dared to dream of, but she used it seldom. Most of her hours were spent in the adjacent nursery.
The children, a boy and girl, were newborns. Her job was to care for them, to feed them and keep them as ordered to do so.
So far, she’d stuck to that. Her employer--whomever he or she was--never entered the nursery. She could not understand how any parents of such adorable babies could possibly keep away. But no one ever came by.
She shrugged it off as the peculiar but hardly unexpected behavior of the uber wealthy. They were probably off to some social event in Morocco for all she knew.
The twins, and they had to be twins, so similar were their features, were the only source of warmth in the stifling mansion.
She had grown attached to them from the moment she’d laid eyes on their cherub-like faces. Though her duties were clearly laid out in a binding contract, complete with a non-disclosure agreement, she often stretched the boundaries of those black and white letters, singing lullabies to the twins, finding toys for them on the sly. All things considered, these were the happiest moments in her life.
And then everything went wrong.
Nearly five weeks since she’d started working, she noticed the babies reacting badly to the milk. They hadn’t ever fussed over it before and something had made her place a drop of the concoction on the back of her hand and try it herself.
She spit it out almost at once.
What was this? It looked like milk but it had been mixed with something. What?
She went to the kitchens to complain, but the batty woman who’d spoken nastily to her the first week waved her off, insisting that was what the twins must be fed.
“Master’s orders,” she claimed.
Lia didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t even allowed to leave the mansion or she would have gotten them milk herself from her meager earnings. Every bottle she requested that day tasted like chemicals and she could not bring herself to feed a drop of it to the twins. They were growing hungry and cranky and her own eyes filled with tears as she held them to her chest, crooning softly.
By the morning of the second day, she knew she had to break the contract. Though snooping and any suspicious behavior was most definitely not allowed, she stealthily made her ways to the servant kitchens. As she’d suspected, it was empty, the servants busy in the main kitchen this time of day. Hurrying to the sink, one eye on the doorway, she dumped the formula down the drain and rinsed the bottles out thoroughly. She filled them quickly with some of the milk kept on reserve. She smiled when she tasted how normal it tasted, hurrying to secure the bottles
The twins latched onto the milk with eagerness, but even as Lia felt a wave of relief, she worried. How long could she keep this up for? She would be discovered eventually and they’d surely fire her and replace her with some mindless drone who had no conscience, no love in their heart for the twins.
She needed help, but who could she contact? And how?
Horatio leaned forward in the elegant wingback chair, frowning sympathetically. “I can well imagine Khushi’s state, but you need to take care of yourself too, Arnav.”
He was sitting with his godson in Shantivan’s main room. The room looked much as it had when his Samaira had lived there, but the warm airiness was distinctly absent. Thick curtains blocked out light and the room appeared to be in perpetual darkness.
Even in the dim light, he could make out enough of Arnav to see that his plan was working and beautifully too. He looked gaunt, as if he hadn’t slept or eaten in weeks. His cheeks were hollow, his eyes dead appearing.
The scent of smoke clung to him and Horatio noticed several empty cartons lying about. There was no liquor of course in sight, but Horatio knew well that if not for his father, Arnav would have been a raging alcoholic by now.
He laid a comforting hand on his sleeve. “Are you listening to me, son?”
Arnav pulled away. “I’m fine, Uncle. It’s Khushi that concerns me.”
“She’s not any better?”
He shook his head, plunging his hands in his thick hair like a man brought to his lowest form. “I can’t see her like this… It’s like living with the ghost of the woman I love… She hardly leaves the room now, barely talks to me. It’s a struggle just to make sure she eats everyday.”
“You both need time to heal. It was so awfully tragic…”
Arnav grimaced, glancing away. “It’s difficult for me to discuss it. The only person I can talk about it with is my wife.”
“Of course. I understand.”
“She hasn’t spoken a word to me in over a week. She can’t stand to be touched by me either now. I have no way to comfort her. I feel so powerless, Uncle. So powerless…” His head lowered in anguish and he missed the devious look of delight on his godfather’s face.
“Perhaps if you leave Shantivan, take a nice break somewhere…”
“I’ve suggested that, but Khushi refuses. She won’t leave this house. The babies are buried here.”
“You can at least leave the house for awhile. NK tells me you haven’t gone to AR Designs in weeks.”
Arnav waved that off. “Aman’s handling it and I could care less about profits and business right now. I also can’t bring myself to leave Khushi. Even though she doesn’t want to see me right now, I can’t keep away… I love her...”
“I know you do and I’m sure she’ll come around one of these days.” He stood, reaching for his cane. “I’d best be off. I have a Shakespearean conference  in London day after tomorrow and there’s a lot left to do. You will keep in touch, won’t you?”
Arnav walked him to the door. “Best as I can.”
Horatio knew this was the moment he should embrace the younger man and offer him some comfort but he couldn’t bring himself to. Looking at Arnav was like gazing into the face of Arav Singh Raizada, so alike were their likenesses.
“Take care, Arnav.”
“You too, Uncle.”
Arnav locked the door and watched in the security camera as the luxury car reversed. Shantivan was empty once more. He’d dismissed all the help weeks ago. A woman, recommended by Bayaz and his wife, kept the refrigerator well stocked with food, but it usually ended up in the dustbin. Neither Khushi nor he had much of an appetite these days.
His feet hesitated at the staircase. He ached to go to his wife, but he knew she’d react badly. He didn’t know how many more times he could handle her turning away from him. If only she would talk to him, share with him her grief.
“Khushi? Love, are you okay?” he called out.
No response and by now, he hadn’t expected any.
“I’ll be in the downstairs study if you need me.”
He went back to the dark-paneled room that had become his hell and his sanctuary for weeks now. Exactly thirty-eight days, in fact. He rifled a hand through his wavy hair, settling into his usual place before the fireplace.
He could hear the faint noise of the traffic outside, beyond the gates, and he marveled at it for a moment. Nothing waited for anyone. Though inside Shantivan nothing had changed, everyone else appeared to have moved on from the sensational events at the fashion show. The media had jumped to a new story, having rung out every drop of ratings from Payal’s suicide and the twins’ fate.
The twins…
His hands shook as he reached for the pack of cigarettes. He remembered a time when he’d vowed never to touch another. Only for his kids’ sakes. It felt a lifetime ago. The musings of another man. A man who had thought he’d known pain, but hadn’t the faintest clue.
Arnav didn’t know how long he sat in the darkness, burning through another carton, but it was just after 2 AM that he forced himself to stand.
He took the stairs slowly, his feet hesitating at their bedroom door. He hadn’t slept there in over four weeks, since the moment Khushi had decided she wanted to be alone. He’d fought against it, adamant he would not leave her under any circumstance, but she’d threatened him with the one thing he would never risk: her own well-being.
He’d relented and taken to sleeping on the floor in the room they’d decorated with so many dreams, only to see each one fall apart. The walls were a pale blue, the carpet green like summer grass while the cribs stood out stark white. Hand-painted murals of animals filled the space, stars hung from the ceiling and toys littered the room.
By now the toys should have been quite dusty, but they were not. Though Arnav had no idea why he did it, he kept the room clean and pristine as if the twins would be carried in any moment.
It was a place that should have brought him nothing but pain. But it was actually the only place he found a slivering of peace these days. He treasured the nursery. He always would.
Instead of heading off in that direction, he did then what he did every night. Though Khushi was never awake to notice him, he had taken to watching her like a fucking stalker. Even in the darkness, the sight of her always undid him.
How he ached to take her into his arms, to hold her, to kiss away her every tear… It was torture not to give into that all too powerful instinct. To keep away when he could see her growing thinner, weaker and paler every day.
How long was this was going to go on for? It had to end. But how?
He carefully pushed open the door. His eyes took a moment to adjust and at once, panic assailed him like the sharpest of claws. He flipped on the lights, but it was no trick of the night.
The bed was empty. The sheets rumpled.
He ran to the bathroom and finding it empty, slammed his way out.
The utter stillness and silence of the house seemed to confirm his every worst fear. For a split second, the memory of Payal’s body swinging from a noose flashed in his mind, only this time it wasn’t Payal, but Khushi… His Khushi
He swore, banishing the thought away. Khushi was not her cousin, he told himself. She would never resort to such an extreme. Yet the fear that she had harmed herself, perhaps unknowingly, persisted, gnawing at his fraying control.
Holy hell, he was going to lose it if he didn’t find her soon. Part of his mind was still functioning outside of sheer panic and it was what guided him back to the study. He turned on the monitor at the desk and scrolled through the security recordings.
He’d had a camera arranged in the bedroom just in case and he was grateful for that now, his fingers shaking as he found the footage.
There she was. 12:29 AM. Curled on the bed in an almost fetal position.
He fast-forwarded through the rest of it, his fingers pausing at 1:27 AM.
In the video, Khushi suddenly flung the sheets aside and jumped to her feet. Her waist long hair swung about her hips, her body appearing painfully slender beneath her thin nightgown. She seemed to sway for a moment before finding her bearings. As he watched with his face drained of all color, she raced down the stairs, past the study where he’d been, and out the back entrance. He suddenly knew exactly where she’d gone and he was already halfway out the door, his breathing unsteady.
As he’d known, he found her on the grass outside, lying like a broken marionette doll beside the graves. She was stroking her hand over the grass, almost caressing the soil, her gaze unfocused and wistful.
The sight of her shook him to the core. He remembered once questioning her love for the twins, all for the sake of some silly argument they’d been having over her stepmother. How he wished he could take back those words now. To think that he’d ever voiced such a thought, even considered it for a moment. He loathed himself.
Silently, he walked closer. He didn’t raise his voice, didn’t drag her away as he’d planned to. Very carefully, he laid down on the opposite side of her, his hand descending and covering hers.
Grief-stricken, hazel eyes shifted to him.
“Khushi.” He brought her too cold fingers to his mouth, kissing the satiny skin. His eyes stung as he gazed at her. “What are you doing out here, love? It’s past two now.”
She stared at the ground between them. “I--I can’t sleep. Whenever I close my eyes, I feel like they’re calling out for me. Sometimes I can swear I hear them crying. It feels like they need me…”
His eyes flashed with silent anguish. “Love, I wish I could bring them back to you. You have no idea how much I wish I could change the past. It’s all my fucking fault…”
“No,” she cut in hurriedly. “It’s… it’s mine. I should have taken better care of them.”
He stood and drew her into his arms. She felt so slight in his arms, as if she’d break if he held her too tight that it took him a moment to recover. His hands were gentle but firm as he cupped her cheeks, angling her toward him.
“Listen to me, Khushi. Not too long ago you told me not to punish myself, you taught me to see that I wasn’t to be blamed for circumstances beyond my control. And that’s exactly what is happening now, love. We lost the twins and I don’t think either one of us will ever recover fully from that pain. But love, you cannot keep blaming yourself. You are the best mother I know.”
“I’m not a mother... Not anymore.”
“You gave birth to them. You loved them. You did everything you could. That makes you a mother as much as anyone else! Please, love, please talk to me. I can’t lose you too!”
At the charged desperation in his voice, her gaze flew to his face. Her eyes narrowed as they traced over him, taking in his every dear feature after what felt like ages.
“You won’t lose me. I can’t bear to be away from you.”
He threw his arms around her and held her as he’d yearned to. “Don’t then. I need you, Khushi. I need you so damn much.”
She pressed her hand to his cheek. He hadn’t shaved in so long his stubble was now a full beard. Leaning up, she brushed her lips over his, feeling his sharp intake at the touch. “I don’t know how to cope with this loss, baby. I don’t know how...”
“Me either, but we’ll figure it out together. Like always. Just don’t shut me out again.” He lifted her off her feet, stalking past the glass doors to the stairs and up to the bedroom.
Her hand caught his collar as he began to shift away. “Don’t leave me.”
He covered her mouth with his, his hands plunging into the thick mass of her hair. “Nothing could keep me away.”
Her hands tugged urgently at his shirt, pulling it out from his waistband with a yank. “I need you…”
“Are you sure? Is it too soon?”
“No and even if it were, I wouldn’t care,” she insisted. “I need you in me. Now.”
Their hands grew frantic as they struggled to be free of all barriers between them. His body followed her down onto the rumpled bedsheets, his mouth slanting over hers hard and all-consuming. She moaned and drew her arms around his neck, meeting him stroke for stroke.
She quivered as his hand slid between them, ripping her panties with almost savage impatience. The very next moment they were skin to skin and he groaned out loud.
“I can’t slow down. I want you so much…”
She welcomed his ferocity, feeling just as out of control as he. Their mouths tangled, hands becoming reaquainted with each patch of uncovered skin. As his mouth covered her breasts, his tongue laving the erect centers, she cried out. His skillful mouth drifted down her abdomen to the apex of her thighs. She felt the branding heat of his mouth, the familiar slide of his tongue and her body arched beneath him.
“Now, Arnav! Now!”
He rose up in the darkness above her, his mouth crushing hers and then thrusting forward, he filled her to the hilt.
For a moment, neither of them moved. Arnav was the first to speak.
“I love you,” he rasped against her parted lips, his charged gaze that of a man who’d reached the limits of his control. “I need you so much. Don’t ever turn away from me again.”
“I won’t… I promise you, baby. I… I love you.” She fisted her hands on the sheets, shivering and mindless with want and desire as he surged within her, over and over again. There was nothing slow and loving about it, it was the hard, almost violent joining of two shattered hearts. She screamed his name at the pinnacle of their unlikely passion, her nails digging into the flesh of his back as her body shifted restlessly on the sheets. He followed her, his body shuddering above hers.
Afterwards, she held him close, his head pillowed on her breast, his body still intimately joined with hers. He made a move to separate them, but she tightened her grip on him.
Arnav smiled against her smooth skin, his lips brushing over her nipple. “With you holding me the way you are, I don’t think I could leave even if I wanted to. All I want though is to be with you and hold you in my arms. I’m not going anywhere, love.”
Khushi found herself smiling back at him, weak though it was. Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them away, her fingers stroking his sweaty temples, each beloved angle and feature of his face.
His watchful gaze traced over her. “Did I hurt you? I lost all control toward the end.”
She shook her head. “You could never hurt me, baby.”
He burrowed his head closer, his arms snug around her. She felt pain spear through her as she thought about the callous way she’d shut him out for weeks now. She hadn’t been able to stop it though. There had been nothing left of her old self to salvage. She started to apologize, but he hushed her with a single look, knowing her all too well.
“Don’t. You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I understand you better than myself most days.”
“I love you,” she whispered softly, meaning each word to the depths of her very being. “So much…”
She could feel his smile against her skin. “Right back at you, love. Now, close your eyes, it’s going to be morning soon.”
And then after what felt like ages, a dreamless sleep snatched all thoughts of death and loss away, leaving Khushi in a silent void she barely recognized any longer.
Lia knew exactly what to blame for the discovery the next morning: her absolute and total boredom.
The twins were napping and she’d been left with nothing to do. She somehow found herself cleaning out the nursery closet. It didn’t house very much and as usual she mentally cursed the twins’ neglectful parents. How could they live in such luxury and give their children rags to wear and spoiled milk to drink? How did such people live with themselves? She’d never have been able to face her own reflection if she’d done something so cruel to two such innocent souls.
Her gaze flickered over to the crib with quiet adoration. It was strangely beautiful how the two slept side by side, one arm flung over the other as if protecting each other. They had no idea, but they needed such protection.
She still had no idea how long she had left with them, she remembered grimly. The thought made her restless and she began cleaning with a vengeance, drawing out every last item.
And then she saw it. A small paper band. It looked as if it had been flung aside and forgotten. She picked it up with confusion, wondering how it had gotten here.
Her breath quickened as she dusted it off. Baby Raizada, it said. A date was recorded and a time. Even a small smiley sticker still remained.
According to the date, the twins were just over five weeks old. Raizada… the name was not entirely unfamiliar to her. Though Lia had never been one to follow any gossip magazines, she knew a bit about one Raizada.
Arnav Singh Raizada.
Not for his rumored philandering ways and ruthless business practices, but the orphanages he sponsored. She’d heard of his charity work and had even met him in the flesh almost two years ago.
He’d visited Stumpost Orphanage, armed with school supplies and a truckful of ideas to improve the place. She’d shared one fleeting moment with him. A brief handshake, a shy smile all she’d managed in response.
She hadn’t forgotten Arnav Singh Raizada and it wasn’t because of his looks either. Though undoubtedly he was a very handsome man and a thousand times more intimidating, she’d been touched by his kindness, his unspoken generosity. After he’d left that day, Stumpost had changed for the better in more ways than one.
Since that cloudy afternoon she’d met him, Lia had been unable to stop herself from following him in the media. She didn’t search out information like others, but she did keep an eye out for him. When she heard he was married, she’d wished him the very best in her heart. When she’d heard his wife, Khushi she believed her name was, was rumored to be pregnant, she’d hoped she was. Arnav Singh Raizada would make an exceptional father. She’d seen him interact with children and it was the only time the hardness on his face had eased somewhat.
Just before she’d started this job, she’d heard of his company’s disastrous fashion show, two deaths in his family, and then the loss of his children.
Khushi Raizada had been reported to have twins. Her gaze, wide and disbelieving, swerved to the sleeping twins. Could it be?
But why would the Raizadas keep their children in such a state? She knew better than to imagine a man like ASR stooping to such lows.
It could mean only thing: that the twins were under someone else’s control. But who? She had seen no one around except for the servants.
It made very little sense to Lia, but she jumped to her feet, knowing that there was only one way forward. Maybe she was wrong, but she had to be sure.
It took her nearly a day to find a cellphone she could use. She didn’t own one and the landlines were carefully monitored. She told herself she wasn’t exactly stealing, simply borrowing. She would make the call and then delete it from the records. The gardener who owned it would never notice, he was far too busy at this time anyway.
Her hands shook as she pushed open the doors of the nursery. The twins were napping after their bath, their faces soft and content for the time being. Hurriedly, she searched on the phone for a contact number. The Raizadas’ landline was listed private, but thanks to the internet, AR Designs was just a click away. Hiding in the closet where she’d found the hospital armband, Lia pressed the button and said a silent prayer to whomever was listening.
“AR Designs,” a woman answered after several rings, her voice coolly polite but all business.
“I--I need to speak to Mr. Raizada. Arnav Singh Raizada.”
“Do you have an appointment?”
“No, but it’s urgent. It has to do with his wife and kids…”
There was tense silence on the line for a moment. “Mr. Raizada is unreachable currently, but I’ll put you through to his executive assistant. If anyone has a way of contacting Mr. Raizada, it’s him. One second.”
An irritable voice picked up almost immediately. “This is Aman Mehra. What business do you have with Mr. Raizada?”
Lia spoke in a great rush. “I need to speak to him. It’s about his kids.”
Though she could not see the man, she could easily picture his displeasure by the snarl that came through. “Is this some sick prank? What kind of person are you to--”
“It’s no prank! Please, I must speak to him. Right away.”
Something in her voice must have struck a chord because the next moment Aman growled, “Stay on the line. And I swear to God, if I find out you are lying, I will personally make you regret it.”
“It’s no lie,” she began but he’d already cut her off.
Within approximately thirty seconds, the longest thirty seconds of her life, another masculine voice came through. It was tense, rough, and vaguely familiar.
“Who the hell is this? What do you know about my kids?”
She just blurted it out. “I… I think they’re alive. Actually, I know they are. I’m looking at them.”
There was a sharp inhale on the other end. “That’s.... that’s impossible.”
She quickly explained to him about the armband she’d found, sensing his disbelief.
“Where are you? Tell me where they are!”
His voice was so commanding she found herself reciting the address before she was even aware she had. “You must be careful though,” she warned. “There’s heavy security and I think if there was any hint of sirens or any authorities coming close, it might go badly.”
“That’s not going to happen. I’m coming on my own.”
“You can’t! It’s too dangerous.”
She heard movement on the other end and the roar of an engine. He was already on his way. “Given the circumstances, it would be safest for one man to enter and that man will damn well be me. What do you know about the place? What’s the best way in?”
She rattled off information about the streets nearby, a passageway the servants used and the code to enter the mansion.
“If you enter through the servants’ entrance, you should make it in undetected. Take the stairs to the third level and we are at the end of the corridor. Last door. It should be all empty up here around this time.”
“You better not be guiding me into a trap. If this is AJ’s plan, I promise you I will not let you get away unscathed.”
“I don’t know any AJ. I’m doing this for the babies. They’re not being kept well. The milk tastes funny and I don’t know how much longer I can keep them hungry like this.”
Arnav cursed, raking a hand through his hair. “I will be there in fifteen minutes. Stay on the line.”
Each strike of the clock ticked by with almost sluggishness. Lia sat near the crib, the phone clutched in her hand. How long would it take for the gardener to realize his phone was missing? How would ASR cross the security guards? Would he find his way? Her directions had been not all that helpful because she herself knew so little about the mansion. What if she unknowingly brought him into a trap?
Before she could work out all the worse-case scenarios, the door slowly edged open and a tall, lean man entered. She recognized him instantly.
Arnav Singh Raizada spared her a fleeting glance, much as he had the day at the orphanage. His glittering gaze flew to the crib and suddenly he was there, clutching the railing, his body bent and rigid with tension.
The twins chose that moment to awaken from their nap, not knowing their father stood so close, his breath suspended. As their eyes flickered open, it took everything in Arnav not to weep. His own eyes were staring back at him.
A boy and a girl, just as Khushi had always thought.
He didn’t have to be shown the armband from the hospital to know whom the babies belonged to. It wasn’t just that they had his eyes. He recognized the impish nose his daughter had, the lips on his son... They were Khushi’s. His Khushi’s.
His arms were shaking as he lifted the two into his arms, snug against his chest. He wanted nothing more than to keep holding them, but he had to get them to safety first. His eyes flickered to the girl. She looked barely eighteen.
“Come on,” he whispered, moving to the door. “We need to leave.”
“You want me to go with you?”
“There’s no other choice, is there? Once whomever has orchestrated all this finds the twins gone, you’ll be in danger too.” At her hesitance, he added, “I won’t hurt you. You have no idea what you’ve given me.”
“I trust you,” she simply said.
No other words were spoken between them. He walked like a sleek panther down the corridor, his hold on the twins unbreakable.
Lia held her breath as they reached the servants’ dining room. It was empty as expected and she guided him to the back door, her hands fumbling with the keypad.
She knew the mansion was watched day and night. What if the guards had discovered them? If they had, they would be arriving any moment, guns ablaze.
She suddenly heard the sound of footsteps and her face whitened. “They’re here! They’ve found us out!”
Arnav handed her the babies, his face taut. “Run to the alley. My car keys are in the ignition and the GPS is set for my home. Take the twins there. Go!”
“What about you?”
“I’ll hold them off.”
Lia noticed for the first time a dangerous looking handgun in his front pocket, one he drew out with practiced ease as he leaned his back against the antique gold wallpaper.
She saw his eyes rest on the babies for a brief moment, his gaze pained. “Go!” he mouthed.
And then she was running, darting forward into the cool, slightly chilly air. Each step was fraught with danger. She held the twins tightly, almost expecting gunfire to sound any moment behind them.
His car turned out to be a massive jeep. It was white and stood in the alley like a beacon of light. She raced toward it. She’d just slid inside when a force collided with her back. Her shout was stopped by a large hand.
“It’s just me,” Arnav ground out.
“Oh, thank God. I thought you’d never make it out alive.”
“For a moment, I didn’t either.” He helped her and the twins into the passenger seat, and took the steering wheel, looking entirely in control. In contrast, Lia found herself fighting off tremors of the worst sort, her heart racing even now.
“The guards must have been slacking off. For the first time in my life I’m grateful for people not working as they’re supposed to,” he said as the car pushed forward, past the dumpsters. “The footsteps you heard were just the cook’s.”
As he sped out of the alleyway, Arnav dialed Bayaz Khan and explained the situation. A bevy of police cars passed them from the opposing direction not long afterwards and then suddenly there was a booming noise, the ground seeming to shake from it. Lia gazed back over her shoulder, startled.
Bayaz called back immediately. “The entire place just blew up. I have no idea how it was triggered, we’re investigating.”
Arnav hung up on him, his eyes flashing to the twins. To know that they’d been so close to danger, in the clutches of some madman ravaged his mind.
He parked in front of Shantivan at an angle, jumping out. He was not at all  surprised to find Aman awaiting them near the gates. He knew better than to disturb Khushi with what was likely a prank call, but he hadn’t been able to stay away.
He watched with astonished eyes as his boss pulled out two, tiny babies from the jeep, his every movement painstakingly careful. Holding them to his chest, he motioned his head toward the SUV.
“Take care of her. Don’t let her out of your sight.”
Aman frowned. Who was he talking about? His gaze widened as it settled on the girl who climbed out from the passenger seat. She was petite with flowing dark hair and too large, almost silver appearing eyes. Despite her size, there was a fierceness about her, something that called his attention to her. Hell, she was beautiful and this was not an appropriate time for him to notice that.
“Who the hell are you?” he all but barked in the manner of his boss.
Her face scrunched as if she recognized the sound of his voice and wasn’t at all happy about it. “The girl you thought was playing a sick prank you’d personally make her regret.”
She would never have come out their bedroom ordinarily, but something in her husband’s voice had her grabbing up her robe and darting out.
She froze at the top of the staircase. Arnav stood at the bottom, a sleepy-looking baby in each of his arms. Three faces, stunningly similar, turned her way. Her heartbeat thundered. She wanted to run to them, but she felt her knees give away, her breath hitching in her throat.
Could it be?
Her husband nodded, tears in his eyes as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. “They’re ours. Our babies. Come here, love. Come hold them. They need you as much as you do.”
Crying out, shaking all the way, Khushi crossed to the three people who meant everything to her.

Episode 42: New Beginnings

Cherub-like faces, mouths spread in sleepy, toothless yawns.
Perfect little fingers and toes.
Khushi couldn’t look away from them, bending down to kiss each. Her husband seemed far more in control and deftly, he maneuvered them all to the sofa. She found herself sitting down, a baby in each arm.
Their babies…
Tears streamed down her face as they gazed back at her curiously, their eyes the exact shade of their father’s.
“T-they have your eyes.”
Arnav knelt on the carpet before them, one long finger caressing the children as if they were made of the most precious porcelain. At her words, he leaned forward and pressed a firm kiss to her lips. “And your mouth.”
Through her tears, she saw moisture clinging to his eyelashes, but it was overshadowed by his dazzling, wide smile, something she hadn’t seen for so long now. It struck her how much she’d missed it.
“H-How?” she whispered, her gaze shifting to the twins, taking in every detail, their tiny fingertips, the upturn of their ink-black eyelashes. “How is this possible?”
“I don’t know, baby… A girl called me.” He went on to tell her everything he knew about Lia Stumpost and the mansion she’d led him to.
“The place blew up?” Khushi instinctively drew a protective hand over the twins.
Arnav nodded, rubbing a finger down their downy-soft cheeks, his eyes charged with emotion. “Thank God, we got them out before that. Whoever owned that place meant to harm them.”
Shuddering, Khushi pulled their two miracles closer to her body, wishing she could shield them from every evil that existed. “W-what about the babies out back? They can’t be ours…”
“No,” he agreed, “I’ve already notified Bayaz. They are going to remove the graves and try to identify them.”
Khushi met his suddenly hard gaze. “Who would do this to us? Who hates us to this extent to plan something so elaborate? So cruel?”
His expression was grim. “I wish I knew. I’d make that son of a bitch pay for what he’s done.” He took a deep breath, the iciness in his gaze thawing as it drifted to the twins. “Right now, we need to let the investigators handle it and count our blessings. We found our babies. A boy and a girl, just as you always imagined.”
“W-what will we name them?”
Arnav hushed her question with another kiss, his beautiful smile returning. “Whatever my wife wishes.”
Her heart threatened to burst as she drew him into the little circle they had formed. After weeks of loss and devastation, she couldn’t quite believe this was real. That this small family was hers, and no figment of her deepest hopes and longing. Her eyes closed as tears of thanks slipped down her cheeks.
She was so grateful.
For the twins.
For him.
For this future that she’d thought forever out of her reach.

Aman frowned at the woman seated across from him. She was beautiful, no doubt, but he’d long reached the point where outer beauty held no real meaning to him. Lia Stumpost, if she was indeed whom she claimed to be, had much bigger concerns to worry about. For one, her story was laden with holes.
“Let me get this straight… you never actually met your employer? How is that possible?”
She glared right back at him, that sarcastic lilt in his voice not helping matters. “He was so rich he had people to do everything for him. Why would he interview or even meet with a mere nanny? I was dispensable, just like any other employee there.”
The doorbell rang and she exhaled, welcoming an interruption to his police-like interrogation. She wasn’t a criminal! And damn him for treating her like one! She’d given her statement to an actual cop already, but Aman Suspicious Mehra wasn’t ready to move on.
He returned all too soon with an unfamiliar young man wearing a bright parrot green jumpsuit and a friendly smile.
“You didn’t tell me she was gorgeous, Aman. I’m N.K. by the way, ASR’s cousin and Aman’s next door neighbor.”
Her cheeks colored at his praise and his wide-eyed looks, but Aman just rolled his eyes and jumped right back into his cross-examination, taking a seat across from her.
“You never heard any names? Any places or addresses mentioned?”
A memory came to mind. Of the kitchen staff preparing tea just as “Mr. H” preferred it.
“Mister H… that’s all that I know.”
“How convenient.”
Her eyes flashed at him. “I’m telling you the truth!”
But it was clear that Aman had no inclination to believe her. He was the most cynical man she’d ever met.
Even N.K. seemed to be aware of the odd tension in the room. “Why don’t we take a break. I know a great restaurant, Lia--”
“She isn’t going anywhere.” Aman’s tone allowed no argument and it riled her up like nothing else. The nerve of him!
“Yes I am. Try to to stop me.”
A muscle leaped at his jawline, the first outward reaction he’d shown so far. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. ASR wants me to keep an eye on you and until he says you’re good to go, you’re not going anywhere. Is that clear?”
“You can’t just keep me here! I’ll call the--”
“Call whom?” he cut in silkily. “The police? They might help you out of this apartment building but where would you go from there? If what you’ve told me is true, you have no friends. No family. No income. No savings.”
He was right. Damn him.
N.K.’s head swiveled between them, his smile not dimming. “Cool down, Aman. I can order us all some pizza. How does that sound?”
“If Inspector General here approves,” Lia quipped.
His scowl was totally worth it. But it was gone a second later, replaced by a serene smile that irritated her like nothing else.
“Like I said, you can do whatever you want. Just don’t step out of this apartment till ASR gives the nod.”
She was under virtual house arrest with no other means of escape. Her options were limited, but she had started out with far less than what she currently had. The orphanage may not have given her the best education, but it had taught her life’s most valuable lesson: survival.
“Why can’t I stay with N.K.?” she asked.
“That would be fantastic,” he agreed with a beaming grin. “I’m just down the hall.”
“Absolutely not.” Aman stood and clasped her shoulders, jerking her to her feet. “You’re staying right where I can keep an eye on you.”
She struggled out of his hold. “You’re taking this too far. I don’t think ASR meant--”
“I’ve been working for him for years. I think I know what he means. You, Ms. Lia Stumpost, are my unwanted houseguest until further notice.”

Naked as the day he was born, the young man was celebrating his twenty-first birthday with three equally bare women in his bed. He was handsome with classic good looks and a hint of raw, barely restrained intensity. His thrusts were forceful as he took one of the woman from behind, his hands gripping her full hips. Only his eyes gave away the inner turmoil within him, dark and filled with shadows.
Master Horatio watched the recording with his pants unzipped and both hands on his turgid length. It was his personal favorite in his collection of over thirty such tapes. Years had passed, but he could still recall Arnav’s resistance to getting drunk that night. He’d thrown him a lavish party in a club in the heart of Paris, making sure both drinks and women were plentiful.
His godson may well have indulged in a number of vices after he’d left RITA, but he refused to touch a drop of alcohol. Supposedly, the scent alone was enough to make him nauseous.
It was a sign of weakness. A reflection of how lacking he was. Like father, like son.
Though Arnav hadn’t gotten drunk that night as he hoped, he had continued his downward spiral, indulging in drugs and becoming a man his mother would have failed to recognize if she were alive.
Samaira would have been horrified by her son’s depraved acts. She would have no choice but to admit how wrong he was. How he was never meant to be her son. Just as she was never meant to be Arav’s wife.
Only one man had loved her. Loved her to the point of madness. And that was him.
Crying out, Horatio found release as Arnav withdrew from the woman’s body on screen, another mouth latching onto his hardness, ringing it in dark red lipstick.
He clicked pause on the remote and went through his collection to the first tape. The first time he’d sent a whore to his godson’s bedroom a week after he was freed from RITA. The boy hadn’t been expecting it. He’d taken the woman with a volatile mix of lust and barely restrained anger, emptying himself onto her back and ordering her out of the room as soon as it was over.
The voyeur in him relished each second of the recording, playing it in loop.
On the TV screen, Arnav came with a roar on the unknown woman’s back, his face lined with something akin to pain or heartbreak.

ASR Fanclub Chatroom 9:01 AM:
ASRLover91: The announcement was just made. Did y’all see it?
TruLuvASR: I’m at work. What are the twins names?
ASRLover91: Angeli and Ahaan
TruLuvASR: Another generation of ASRs! Ahaan means dawn, right? What kind of name is Angeli though?
RabbaVe2: It’s a play on the word angel and his sister’s name. The one who died.
ASRLover91: *shivers* I can’t look at wood chips the same after that news broke out. Wish MrsChote would log in so we could get her views. It’s been so long. Wonder what happened to her...
RabbaVe2: I really miss her! But I think she would just be pleased that Khushi Raizada didn’t name the babies after herself lol. KSRs, imagine?

Khushi kept one eye on the sleeping babies and one on Arnav. He was whispering on the phone, much as he had been doing for a good part of the morning. Her heart turned over as her daughter shifted in sleep and then yawned, her eyelashes fluttering against her cheeks as her hands clenched and unclenched. Ahaan showed no such reaction, sleeping without a care.
It amazed her, but she was quickly realizing that the two had very distinct personalities, little quirks that she was learning about now, when it should have began from the moment they’d been born.
They’d lost so much time.
And for what reason? Who had been behind it all?
The police were still at a loss. The hospital could give them no answers. There were no leads, no suspects, no hope.
But one thing, Khushi knew, was that whomever was the mastermind behind it all had money and influence. Lots of it.
“Okay, keep me posted, Aman.”
She glanced up as her husband stowed away his phone, relinquishing his spot in the doorway of the nursery. “Any news?”
He shook his hand, raking a hand through his hair. “No new updates. He said though that the announcement went well. Several news outlets have picked up the story of the twins’ miraculous return.”
“Do you think that’ll be enough?”
“To make whomever orchestrated it all to mess up and reveal himself or herself? God, I hope so. Criminals, even the most prepared, tend to make mistakes when they think they’re close to being caught. We need one slip up and we’ll nail the bastard.”
Khushi could only pray that he was right. The twins had lived through enough hardship and they were under two months old. Her hands tightened on the crib railing and her vision blurred.
Strong arms wrapped around her waist and she was drawn backwards into the warm, comforting heat of her husband’s body.
“Baby, it’ll be all okay. I promise you.”
Her breath hitched as she stared down at the napping babies. “We have to protect them,” she whispered, “At all costs.”
Arnav nodded, nuzzling his head into the side of her neck. “We will. Nothing will go wrong now.”
“Do you promise?”
“With my life. Nothing, Khushi, nothing will ever harm our children again. I won’t allow it to happen.”
She ached to believe him, but part of her was dubious. “You said that before they were born. You said the runway show would go well. It turned out to be the most horrific night of my life.”
His body stilled behind hers and Khushi almost wished she’d never mentioned her doubts aloud. Arnav had enough on his plate. She knew he was doing the best he could. The best any person could possibly do in such circumstances.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean--”
“It’s alright. You’re right. I failed you and our children at the runway show. I couldn’t protect you.”
Khushi turned about to face him, cupping his ravaged face in her palms. “I… I didn’t mean it like that. Nothing that happened that night was your fault. Neither one of us was prepared for it. No one could have known what was to happen that night.”
The image of Payal’s naked body swinging from a noose flashed past her eyes and she willed it away.
Arnav’s eyes, dark and layered with shadows, kept her grounded to the present. “I won’t allow anything more to happen to you or our kids. I need for you to trust me on that,” he all but demanded, those eyes tracing over her.
“I do, love.”
But she couldn’t help but worry.
Her husband knew her well enough to realize he hadn’t completely removed her fears.
Fear, as it turned out, was irrational and once gained, difficult to cast away.

Lia woke up the next morning with her stomach growling and her hair resembling a bird’s nest. A large bird’s nest. Maybe an ostrich’s.
The guest bedroom was functional more than decorative, but the mattress had been comfortable and she’d been just grateful to have a roof over her head to pay much attention to the lack of interior design.
It was a bachelor’s pad after all.
Aman, she recalled, was just across the hall, no doubt formulating more questions for her. Questions she would have no answers to. The stubborn man refused to see that she’d already told him everything! There was simply nothing left to tell. She’d racked her head all night and still come up empty.
A knock sounded and she dragged the blankets up to her chin.
“Lia… are you awake?”
“Now I am!”
He didn’t sound at all remorseful. “Good, ASR called. We’re to meet him at his house, Shantivan, within the hour.”
“Will I get to see the twins?”
He paused. “We’ll see… for now, get dressed.”
Get dressed? She’d slept in the same uniform she’d been given in the mansion. She had nothing else with her.
Aman must have realized the same because no more than a minute later he was back at the door, knocking. “Sorry, I forgot you might need some clean clothes. I’m leaving some for you right outside.”
She waited till his footsteps padded away before opening the door--a crack. As promised, a pile of clothes were sitting there. She grabbed them and quickly bolted the door.
Lia didn’t know what she’d been expecting, but it hadn’t been a gray pair of male sweatpants and a cotton white shirt.
Still, she was grateful to finally be able to get out of the uniform. It was a bit scratchy. She showered and pulled on Aman’s clothes, hoping the shirt wasn’t as transparent as it seemed when she held it up.
But what other choice was there?
Gritting her teeth and keeping her arms firmly crossed over her chest, she entered the main living area to find her captor waiting for her at the breakfast bar, his plate untouched.
“You made breakfast?” she asked, shocked for some reason.
He shrugged. “It’s nothing fancy. Not like the pizza NK ordered last night.”
She wanted to tell him that this type of food, home-cooked and lacking any pungent grease, was exactly what she loved, but something stopped her. They ate silently, side by side and she was relieved when it was over.
Her arms resumed their positions across her chest and Aman noticed the action right away. His brow furrowed.
“Are you cold?”
“Why are you doing that then?”
“Doing what?”
He demonstrated, hugging himself almost, and she couldn’t help but smile.
“Oh, there’s a reason for it,” she told him. “Nothing important though.”
“I can lower the AC.”
“It’s not the AC, Aman. Do you ever listen?”
He frowned and then suddenly, his lips parted. “Are you hurt? Is that what you’re hiding?”
“What? No, of course not!”
“Don’t lie to me!”
“I’m not!”
“Then show me!”
She refused to move and the next moment he’d somehow caught her hands and drawn them away before she could so much as say another word.
All his anger disappeared the moment he saw her… and her very visible red bra.
Lia grimaced and stepped out of his reach. “Satisfied?”
He looked a bit apologetic this time, his gaze averted. “Sorry… but you should have just told me. It’s not like you can go out looking like that.”
For some reason, his straightforward, no-nonsense manner made her act like a moody, rebellious teenager. “Oh, no? Watch me.”
She forced her arms to remain at her sides and marched to the door. 3...2...1
Like a viper, Aman darted forward and caught hold of her again, pressing her against the wall. His much larger frame easily dwarfed hers and for the first time in her life, Lia felt her body clenching, her breathing speeding up--all while he glared down at her, looking as if he’d reached the limits of his patience.
“You just have to fight me on everything, don’t you?” he murmured more to himself than her. “Wait here, I’ll get you something to wear over the shirt.”
She was too speechless, too confused by her own body’s crazy reaction to him to even begin to argue.
Aman returned within a black jacket draped over one arm. Against her feeble protests, he helped her into it, zipping it up himself.
“We’re going shopping before we meet ASR.”
“There’s not enough time,” she said.
His eyes narrowed on her face. “Let me worry about that. You just do something else for a change.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“Try not to argue with me for once! If what you’re claiming is all true, we’re on the same side. I’d do anything for ASR’s children.”
Her heart felt as if it had shifted positions and lodged up in her throat. “So would I.”
 And for the first time, Aman--whom she’d officially began hating the night before--smiled at her.
She wondered if he even realized it because the next second he was hauling her out the door and she was back fighting and cursing him. That odd breathless feeling though, remained, as stubborn as the man himself.

Khushi’s body shook as she embraced the woman who’d kept the twins alive single-handedly.
“I don’t know how to even begin to thank you,” she told Lia as she pulled away.
“You don’t need to. Everything I did was for them.”
“You love them…” Khushi whispered, blinking back more tears.
Lia nodded. “More than anything. I’m so glad that they have the type of parents that they deserve now. That they’re so well-loved and taken care of.”
“Still,” Arnav murmured, brushing Khushi’s tears aside and pulling her into his arms. “If it hadn’t been for you… that phone call… none of this would have been possible.” He exchanged a look with his wife, his smile widening. “Because of that, we both would be more than happy to have you continue being a part of the twins’ lives.”
He nodded. “My wife hasn’t left the nursery since they arrived. Whether she admits it or not, she needs her rest too.”
“There’s no one I trust more than you to take care of them,” Khushi added. “If you’d like to live here as their permanent nanny, we’d be so happy to have you, but the decision is yours.”
“Live here?” Lia’s eyes flew to Aman and quickly slid away. “I… I’d love nothing more. Can I see the twins?”
Khushi nodded, taking her hand. “I’ll take you to them. They’re sleeping right now.”
Aman and ASR were left alone and for a long moment, the two were silent. And then Aman seemed to lose his composure.
“Are you sure about this? She’s a stranger. We know nothing about her.”
“We know she risked her life for my children. That she’s taken care of them against all odds in that mansion.”
Aman was silent, his gaze shifting to the empty hearth.
Arnav studied the man who’d started off as his assistant years ago and over time, become his right hand, his closest friend. The realization didn’t bother him nearly as much as it had before. “I want to ask you something too, Aman… I’ve tried isolating my family, thinking they’d be safe that way. But I’ve realized the only way to ensure their safety is to bring everyone who loves them along as allies. To not shut out our friends and family.”
“You’ve never asked me for anything before.”
“No,” he agreed, “Usually I operate with orders, but this time I’m asking you. Would you consider moving into Shantivan? At least for a few months until we catch whoever’s behind this all? It would make it so much easier for me if I knew you were close by… that if something were to happen to me, my family would have you there.”
His friend frowned. “Nothing’s going to happen to you. Bayaz is already going through every lead. We’ll find the answers we’ve been searching for.”
“Still, having you and NK close would make a difference.”
Arnav nodded. “Khushi spoke to him on the phone this morning. He’s agreed to move in for awhile as well. I know I’m asking a lot of you--”
“No, not at all. Thank you, ASR.”
“For what?”
Aman shrugged. “For making me feel not like an orphan for the first time in my life, but part of a family.”
“You are. You always have been. I just…” He cleared his throat. “I have a hard time with friendships.”
“I know. After what happened with AJ, I can’t blame you.”
Arnav’s head snapped up. “You know about AJ?”
“I researched you a bit before I joined AR Designs. It was all in the Parisian newspapers… about your fight.”
Arnav found himself grinning. “I knew I did the right thing hiring you. Nothing escapes you.”
“Not much…”
“Then find him, Aman. Find whoever did this to my family.”
His assistant could only nod, knowing he would do everything in his power to help the man who’d given him the two greatest gifts any person could receive: friendship and a sense of belonging.

Hours later, Arnav entered the bedroom to find Khushi breastfeedingAngeli. “Where’s Ahaan? With Lia?”
Khushi nodded, smiling. “She’s giving him a bath, last I checked.”
He slid into the bed beside her, bending down to kiss his daughter’s head. “Is she all settled in?”
“Yeah, some clothes were delivered for her. She can’t go on wearing Aman’s clothes another day.”
He nodded, watching his wife and daughter. His heart thundered with the knowledge that this was real, and no idle fantasy.
Khushi followed his gaze to their daughter, reaching for him with her free hand. “You’re happy with her name? You didn’t say too much when I suggested it.”
“Because I couldn’t seem to say a word then.” He raised her hands to his mouth, kissing the pad of each finger. “You continue to amaze me, baby. With your kindness, your thoughtfulness… What the hell did I ever do to deserve you?”
“You deserve everything, love. Every happiness.”
He stroked the top of Angeli’s head. “I am happy. So damn happy. I’m glad our little angel is named after my sister, but that the name is still all her own. Legacies are not easy to live with.”
Khushi drew him to her for a kiss, relishing the feel of him against her. “Now, if we could just figure out who tried to ruin our lives. That would end all the darkness. Forever.”
“I’m working on it, love. We should know soon.”
Khushi stared down at the tiny, beloved face nestled against her breast. Who could it be, she mused. Who hated them to such a degree to do something so heinous? To take their kids away from them?
Angeli pulled away with a sleepy yawn and Arnav took her, balancing her carefully over one shoulder. His palm smoothed over the baby’s back in a move he’d practiced for months. Khushi pressed herself against his side and lost herself in their daughter’s sweet face.
Sometime later, there was a knock on the door and Lia poked her head in with Ahaan in her arms. Khushi set their son on her husband’s chest and they laughed as the babies seemed to fight for space. There was more than enough room for them.
“Thank you, Lia. Is your room to your liking?”
“It’s great, I love that there’s a door that connects directly to the nursery.” Her smile was wide and pleased as she observed the twins, reunited with their parents at last. “I’m going to go help NK and Aman get unpacked and then I’ll be back to get the twins ready for bed.”
“I’ll help you.”
Arnav shook his head, drawing his wife back to his side. “You’ve spent every moment with the twins since five a.m. You’re exhausted. Let Lia do her job, baby.”
She nibbled on her bottom lip. “You’re right. Could you give us thirty minutes, Lia?”
Lia left with a nod and Khushi settled in beside her husband, marveling over the two miracles on his chest. They laughed at their antics, hushed their cries and rejoiced in the quiet, simple moments other couples might have taken for granted.
They both knew now what they’d almost lost. And it was almost worse in a way now because no longer were the twins abstract ideas, but two, very real babies. Babies with her lips and his eyes.
Both were fast asleep by the time Lia returned. Khushi and Arnav followed her to the nursery, each setting down a sleeping infant with care.
“It’s a bit amazing, isn’t it?” Arnav murmured as they made their way back to their own bed. “I didn’t think it was possible, but it’s true. It’s basically like having your heart living outside of yourself. Those two have managed to change our lives and it’s just been a few days.”
She nodded as she slipped in beside him, dimming the lights. “They each are two halves of my heart.”
“Oh, and what about me?”
She pressed her lips against his smiling mouth. “You, Arnav Singh Raizada, own my soul.”

“Fuck, baby,” he growled, rolling her beneath him. Their mouths met with a hungry, almost insatiable desperation. Fabric tore as he bared her to his heated gaze, groaning her name.
Khushi arched and bucked into his embrace, eager to have his skin against hers. As his mouth tugged on her swollen breasts, she cried out, her fingers rifling through his thick hair.
She felt his hardness press against her and the next moment, he was deep, his hands lifting her to each driving thrust of his hips. As always, she had barely enough self-control to hold on, lost in his feverish movements, the fiery look in his eyes.
But something… something in the back of her mind intruded. Her voice was almost unrecognizable as she told him, “P-pull out. Please.”
His face hardened above hers, his thrusts not slowing. “Why?” His hands drew her closer still. “Don’t you want to get pregnant again? Don’t you want my child?”
            She did. She’d always wanted his child, even when a real marriage between them had seemed impossible. But circumstances had changed everything. “P-pull out, Arnav,” she repeated.
His hand slid between them, knowing exactly where to touch, how to send her tailspinning into ecstasy. He soon followed and for the first time, released himself across her heaving stomach.
 He wrenched himself away from her a second later, his expression cold and foreboding. “Why?” he barked.
She struggled not to react under the censure of that look, the accusation in his eyes. “Please… try to understand. I can’t get pregnant again. Bringing another child into our lives when everything, everything is a mess is not just illogical but wrong. I can’t do it.”
He cleaned her without speaking and then raised the blankets over her nude body. “I’ve asked you to trust me. Nothing, absolutely nothing and no one will harm our children again.”
She yearned to believe him, but there were no guarantees, were there?

The weeks that followed were some of the best of their married life. The calming, beautiful presence of their children seemed to blanket any concerns, to turn an ordinary day into a dearest wish come to fruition. Lia, Aman and NK were always close at hand and Shantivan felt to Khushi, more like a true home than ever before.
There was laughter and joy and a sense of optimism.
If there was something that was not quite as right, it was between them. Behind the closed doors of their bedroom, an odd and unwelcome distance had grown. Arnav couldn’t quite seem to forgive her unwillingness to risk another pregnancy and neither could she give in.
She knew her husband wanted another baby, almost desperately so, but her mind was made up. Until whomever was behind the upheaval in their lives was caught, it would be disastrous to consider another innocent child.
Arnav took this to mean she had no trust in him and though they never fought again after that first night, Khushi hated the tension that had sprung up between them.
It had no part in their marriage or their love.
As if to force her hand, Arnav took savage delight in their lovemaking, driving her to the point again and again when she wanted nothing more than to beg him to fill her with his essence. Birth control pills had never suited her and Arnav loathed using a condom with her. He wanted no barriers between them and on that, they were in agreement.
“Should I pull out?” he would ask each time, taunting her, driving her insane with each movement of his hips.
But her fears were never truly gone. They remained like iron chains on her person and she would nod and all but plead with him to pull out.
He always did.
But he was never, ever, happy about it.
As she drifted to sleep in his arms after a particularly rough bout of lovemaking, she clung to him, wishing she could erase all his doubts.
She trusted him with her life.
It was that faceless person, that monster who’d almost succeeded in snatching their kids, who wouldn’t allow her to relax. She ached for one second. One second to live without feeling as if the world would crash on their heads any moment.
The crash did come.
The very next morning.

Khushi woke early and as was her normal pattern, began snuggling into her husband’s warm side. But the bed beside her was empty for the first time in months.
She willed herself not to give in to worry. It was probably just business that took him away, a call from AR Designs. Perhaps Aman had needed him.
But the nagging feeling of panic didn’t disappear. It only grew and festered.
“Is everything okay?” she asked Lia, all but running to the nursery. “Are the kids okay?”
“Fine.” But she avoided her eyes.
Khushi spun about and raced down to the first floor. Aman and NK were arguing over something on the TV. As soon as she neared, they turned it off.
“What’s wrong? Where’s Arnav?”
Aman fiddled with his phone. “He’s giving a press conference at AR Designs.”
“What? But he hates those. He never even told me about it.”
NK cleared his throat. “It was a last minute thing, Khushiji.”
She frowned at the pair of them, their lack of honest responses making her fears spike. Stalking forward, she grabbed the remote control from where it had fallen, turning it back on.
“Don’t!” one or both of them shouted.
She heard them as if from a great distance. The headline flashing on the TV had to be a lie. It had to be.
“Turn it off, Khushiji.”
“Be quiet!” she screeched, her fingers shaking as she increased the volume. The channel was playing a segment of the tape on loop. Key anatomical parts were blackened out, but the faces were unhidden and the implication was clear. Sex and drugs.
She watched it till she could stomach no more, her heart sinking. “I… I need to speak to Arnav.”
“He’s at the conference--”
“I DON’T CARE, AMAN! I need to speak to him. NOW!”
He nodded and dialed his boss directly. A quick word was exchanged--her name--and the phone was set in her palm. She swallowed as she raised it to her ear.
“Khushi?” came his familiar croon.
She bit down on her lip, moving away from NK and Aman. Her voice lowered. “Is it true?”
He was quiet, too quiet.
“It’s from years ago, around the time I got out of RITA.”
Her hand clenched on the phone. She had known about his past, but to see it first-hand, to see all those women wrapped around him, pleasuring him… She wished to remove the hideous images from her mind even as she grappled to understand. “You taped yourself? With women?”
“No, baby. I promise you, I’ve never done that.”
“Are you sure? In the videos, you look pretty high. Maybe they taped you and you just weren’t aware.”
He swore. “It’s possible, but whomever did this, did it with stealth. I wasn’t aware of any cameras.”
“That you remember.”
“I didn’t ask for this, Khushi! Please try to understand.”
Her voice shook. “That’s all that I’ve done since I met you. To try to understand you. But it’s not just me anymore. Our children will have to deal with this one day. People are going to ask them about their father’s sex tape.”
His curse was violent as he revealed, “Tapes.”
“There’s more than one.”
“And they’re all online?”
“Most have been taken down, but you know how fast the internet works. Point is, it’s all out there now. There’s no changing it. Someone released these all deliberately today.”
She struggled to process that. “Who? Who would do such a thing?”
 “Someone who’s been plotting for years. Baby, I have to go. I’ll speak to you soon. And I’m sorry, so damn sorry you and the twins have to go through all this shit because of me.”
The line went dead before she could get another word in.

ASR’s Fanclub Chatroom, 2:22 PM
TruLuvASR: I can’t believe what happened this morning. Someone pinch me!
ASRLover91: *pinch* Oh, it happened. That press conference was a disaster too. ASR lost his temper as usual. I don’t even blame him.
TruLuvASR: I can’t believe we actually have video--not just photos--but videos of him naked. Hours of the stuff. I have full links to everything without the annoying black spots if anyone wants them.
MyheartASR: Me! Please send them to me!!
TruLuvASR: Done.
RabbaVe2: It’s not just him naked in those videos though :/
MrsChote: Dont focus on those sluts… focus on his face, all that smooth, naked skin, those muscles, that ass...
RabbaVe2: MRSCHOTE? OMGGGG You’re back?!!
MrsChote: I never left :)

Episode 43: Hell is Here

Not so long ago…

Payal Raizada slipped her silver-laced mask over her face, her breathing escalating as she entered the mansion. It was magnificent, marble tiled floors and hand-painted walls that carried an illusion of being in Rome or some other ancient civilization.
A guard, the top half of his face covered in a rich burgundy mask, peered at her, his gaze raking over her.
“You are?”
“Mrs. C.”
He exchanged a glance with the guard opposite him, chuckling. “You’re in the wrong place then. No one here is themselves. They’re either a dominant or a submissive.”
Payal felt like kicking herself for her novice mistake. She kept forgetting she was not in Devil’s Lair, but at a private home, partaking in an event only the top tier of DL attended.
“I’m one of Master H’s subs.”
There was an instant sheen of respect in the guard’s eye. Straightening, he pointed her up the staircase to a bedroom that had been relegated just for her. Her hand grasped the ornate railing and she marveled over the painted ceiling. It was as if she’d entered another world.
A little known world that was now hers for the taking.
She pushed open the door on her right and froze. Inside was no bedroom, but a nursery, two cribs side by side.
What in the world?
Why was there a nursery in a place like this?
Her teeth gnashed together. The twin cribs reminded her of Khushi and the babies she carried. ASR’s children should have been her children. How could he have overlooked her and fathered a child--not on but two!--with that silly, stupid cousin of hers. It was all her fault, Payal thought, slamming the door close and moving down the hall. She should never have allowed Khushi anywhere near her family. She should have been sent to an orphanage right from childhood.
But no, she’d tolerated the twit and in exchange, she’d gotten this. The burning knowledge that she was not Mrs. Arnav Singh Raizada, but that bitch--
“Over here. You’re right across the hall from me, Mrs. C.”
Payal nodded to a woman she instantly recognized as being Mrs. X. The dominatrix was beautiful, her contacts light blue behind her gold mask.
“You are so fortunate to be with us here tonight. Not many new initiates ever get this far.”
Payal struggled to keep her glee in check. “It was all Master H’s doing. He invited me himself.”
“The Grand Master is wise.”
Grand master?
She hadn’t heard the term at DL, but it had to mean something good. Something to be envied.
“You better go and change. Wouldn’t want to be late.”
Nodding in agreement, Payal slipped into the bedroom assigned to her. Two faceless attendants stood waiting. At her entrance, they bowed and led her to the steaming bath, washing every inch of her body. Payal said nothing as one or both of them pinched her nipples, mouths traveling down her body. She luxuriated in their attention as they dried and oiled her, making her come many times throughout it until her body felt heavy. Almost drugged. They were her preparing her, she knew. Preparing her for the night ahead.
A ruby red mask with hand-detailing and the unmistakable shine of pure silk was placed over her face, the ends tied back. One of the attendants carefully slipped on the jewelry Master H had provided for her while the other dusted the exposed, lower half of her face with the most expensive makeup on the market. It was so exclusive, most of the general public had no idea about it. But Payal knew better.
At this moment, she was at the top tier of Devil’s Lair, a club her stupid cousin had no clue even existed.
“My robe?” she asked as the attendants led her out the door, naked.
“Master H’s orders.”
She kept her head bowed and her footsteps even as they walked back to the main atrium. Payal had lost her inhibitions at DL, but part of her was still shocked as she reached the party’s main floor to find everyone else fully dressed.
Beneath masks of every color, she sensed amusement, curiosity and the crowd’s ever growing scrutiny concentrated on her.
“Over here, pet.”
She knelt before her master, the man who had taught her all about the seducing power of darkness. For the first time though, she couldn’t lose herself in the fantasy of it, couldn’t pretend that behind the mask it was her ASR who wielded such control over her.
Suddenly, with the eyes of at least ten masked strangers on her, she realized that this was not ASR. He couldn’t be. As he parted his robe and stood before her naked, she couldn’t help but notice the wrinkles on his flesh, the wilting, almost weak build of him. And was that white hair?
He was old, she realized. Whoever he was, he was far older than her ASR. But it was too late.
She could not back out now. Not when she’d finally risen to their high ranks.
“Lay back, pet and spread your legs.”
His silken voice had a power to it. She forgot all about his wrinkles. All about him and saw suddenly only ASR, tall and broad-shouldered and handsome beyond belief. She lay before him like a sacrifice, rejoicing in his touch as he entered her the next second.
It should have hurt, but she too lost in the darkness to sense it. She welcomed him in her arms, not caring that a circle had formed around them, the other partygoers watching as she writhed and moaned. Some stroked themselves, others tipped their drinks back, appearing pleased by the proceedings.
And then, out of nowhere, her master’s hand came around her neck like a vice. She thought it was yet another test, another game of Master H’s. But this felt different. She could hardly breathe, her vision blurring.
Unable to tolerate it a second more, she began struggling, scratching his hand so hard blood dripped from his fresh wounds, landing on the fine marble below. Her clawing did little good. The crowd came closer and closer, shoes and pointy nails keeping her pressed to the floor, smiling down at her as her face turned an ugly shade of blue.
And then as the Grand Master came within her, there was nothing, but darkness.
Master H kicked her lifeless body aside, turning to his fellow Grand Masters as those in attendance clapped and cheered.
“The sacrifice has been made.”
Poor, stupid, Payal, thought Horatio, humming under his breath. She had thought she was just another initiate at DL, but she’d been handpicked for the monthly sacrifice instead. Little did she or other novices realize, but DL was just a front.
It was a powerful group of some of the richest people in the world who’d created a club to exorcise their innermost demons. Cults had been quite defamed, but a club like DL with its exclusive nature was so in demand there was never a shortage of potential sacrifices. They chose them carefully, after great thought and planning. Lucky Payal had been this month’s pick.
“Grand Master…”
He turned and smiled at the gold mask before him. “What did you think of that demonstration, Mrs. X?”
“Most excellent. Shall I dispose of the body?”
“No… I have ideas for it.” He beamed as he envisioned it: a noose again, a dead body and Arnav’s fashion show ruined another year in a row.


“Mr. Raizada, are you claiming the man in the tapes is not you?” Someone shoved a microphone at him as they asked the question. “Because it sure looks like you.”
“How is your wife taking the news, ASR? Is there trouble in your marriage?”
“Are you still in touch with the women in the video?”
The questions came to him from all sides, making his head pound. It was less a press conference and more a media circus.
Arnav raised his voice, fighting for patience. “For the last time, those recordings were taken without my knowledge.”
“So it is you? How is Mrs. Raizada taking it? Has she seen your sex tapes?”
He struggled not to snarl at the reporter asking the question. “My wife and my personal life is none of your concern.”
“No more questions.”
He waved aside microphones, dodging requests for interviews and all but slammed his way to where the SUV was parked.
Once inside, far from the noise and chaos, the questions still plagued him. His head dropped against the steering wheel.
How would Khushi take it? Would she forgive this too? She hadn’t sounded as if she would when they’d talked on the phone earlier. Her voice had been laden with disappointment and for the first time, accusation.
That’s all that I’ve done since I met you. To try to understand you. But it’s not just me anymore. Our children will have to deal with this one day. People are going to ask them about their father’s sex tape.
She was right.
Their beloved, innocent children, Angeli and Aahaan, would be questioned one day about it. There was no stopping it. The knowledge crippled something inside of him.
The foursome that night had been a mistake, a mistake of a twenty-one year old boy he no longer recognized. That boy had been lost, angry with the world, and consumed by old hurts and burdens. Each had been weighing him down as much as the chains and locks that barricaded his cell at RITA.
The man he was now was none of those things.
He was content in his life, so damn thankful for finding the love of his life and the two small miracles they’d created. He would never touch another woman now. Khushi had to know that. She had to trust him on that at least.
But trust between them was a little shaky these days, it had been ever since she’d reminded him that he’d failed to protect the twins. She was right about that too.
He loathed himself, for the tapes, his failures, all of it. As much as he wished it was different, fact was the sex tapes were just one more thing in a long chain of mistakes in his past. Mistakes he wished he had the power to erase.
If only…
Steeling himself, he reversed the SUV, knowing he had to face his wife and all her accusations. She deserved nothing less.

Lia wrapped her arms around her knees as she stared up at Aman and NK from atop one of Shantivan’s plush, highly comfortable sofas. The two were arguing, debating whether or not to disturb Khushi. She hadn’t eaten a bite all day, remaining holed up in her bedroom with the twins since the news broke.
“I think she needs some privacy right now,” Aman was saying in his usual calm tone. “It’s a lot for anyone to take in.”
“Yeah, those videos were some graphic stuff,” NK agreed, grimacing. “But I don’t think it’s right to just leave her alone like this. She needs us right now whether she realizes it or not. What do you think, Lia?”
She tried not to cringe as both their gazes turned to her. So she would be the deciding vote then.
“NK is right, we shouldn’t leave her alone. I’ll go take some sandwiches up to her.”
She noticed Aman’s hard gaze linger on her as she straightened, and it took everything in her not to react. What was it about him? Even at a time like this, she kept thinking about that brief moment of madness when he’d pressed her against the wall in his apartment and then zipped her up in his jacket.
“I’ll help you.”
NK’s offer was sweet, incredibly nice, but it was the last thing she needed right now. She needed to think, to figure out why she couldn’t get the other man present out of her damn head!
Of course, Aman stood on guard the entire time they prepared the sandwiches, watching them as if he’d been assigned to the task. She fought to ignore him, though she could feel his eyes every second. They felt like faint touches, brushing against her skin.
“There, all done,” NK announced minutes later, topping the sandwiches with a bit of cheese.
“I think the cheese goes between the layers of bread, not on top,” Aman drawled from the other end of the counter.
“It’s artistic, Aman,” scoffed the younger man. “You’ll never understand.”
Lia gave him a small smile. “I’m sure Khushi will appreciate it.” She turned her head up just in time to make out Aman glaring at her, marching out the door as if he couldn’t stand another second in the kitchen.
Oh, good.
So they were back to hating one another.
Hate she could deal with. She’d dealt with plenty of it growing up. But that dizzying, stomach-churning sensation whenever he got to close… well, that just had to stop. She couldn’t handle it. Whatever it was.
“You think she’ll eat it?”
Lia studied the tray in her hands. The freshly squeezed lemonade and assortment of sandwiches looked good, but she couldn’t forget the look in Khushi’s eyes earlier. She’d been traumatized by those images on the TV. Scarred by them.
Poor Khushi…
“I hope she does.”
As she went up the stairs, being careful not to spill anything, she wondered how she would have felt to see someone she loved in such a video. A mythical husband with three gorgeous and very naked woman.
Her brain supplied her an image of just such three women… and Aman. She froze on the topmost step, nearly losing her balance. The images weren’t real, she knew that, but she still couldn’t help but feel utterly broken by them. She wanted to smash them, to pull him away from every one of those imaginary, manicured hands.
Why did he matter so much to her? She barely knew him.
And yet, here she was, hopelessly attracted him.
That was what it had to be. Attraction. A simple case of lust.
Things she had never had to deal with before. As potent as the feelings were, she had to stop them. She knew better than to make herself vulnerable for another. She had very little to lose, she reminded herself.
She could not lose her heart too.
She refused to.
Pushing thoughts of Aman out of her head, she knocked softly on the closed bedroom door.
“Khushi? I brought you some lunch.”
“Thank you, Lia,” came her voice, sounding hoarse, as if she’d spent a good deal of the day crying. “I’m sorry, I’m just not feeling very hungry.”
“You haven’t eaten all day though and--”
A masculine voice cut in from behind her. “Let me.”
She could only stare at Arnav Singh Raizada as he took the tray from her. His face looked darkened by tension and his eyes when they met hers briefly, were almost hollow appearing.
“Could you watch the twins for awhile? I need to speak to my wife alone.”
At her nod, he disappeared inside the closed door with the tray and returned seconds later with his arms full of the babies. The poor darlings had no clue about the upheaval in their parents’ lives, eager hands fisting on his royal blue tie as if it was a toy.
Arnav Singh Raizada stared down at his children with such open adoration, Lia felt her throat constrict. He bent and ever so gently, kissed each in turn, holding them then out toward her.
“Thank you.”
She could only nod once more, watching as he slipped back inside. She didn’t waste any time. She walked quickly away from the bedroom as if shouts would erupt behind her any second. From her days at the orphanage, the one thing she had hated almost as much as hunger and the loneliness, had been the fights.
The shouts and screams.
But not even a peep sounded behind her.
Breathing a sigh of relief, she managed to make a silly face for Angeli and Aahaan, her heart warming as they gave her big, toothless smiles and cooed.

Her hand clenched on the stiff material of the curtain. She kept her back to him, staring out the window toward the back gardens.
It was sunny outside, brightness pouring in when her world had just been thrown into perpetual darkness. Turned upside down once again.
“Khushi… Please, love, talk to me.”
She couldn’t. She didn’t feel nearly strong enough, her throat aching with rawness after the hours she’d spent crying her heart out, willing those horrific images out of her head.
It hadn’t worked.
Nothing had.
All she kept seeing was those women… him touching them… entering them...
“Love, please…”
Stop, she wanted to tell him. What did he want from her? For her to pretend she wasn’t affected? Well, she was. She couldn’t help being so very affected. So broken.
Nothing he could say would ever make that throbbing in her heart go away. Nothing at all.
His voice broke and still she remained rooted to her spot, unable to move. Unable to think. And then through her own harsh breathing, she heard it.
The most terrible sound in the world.
Worse than anything.
Arnav, her Arnav, was crying.
She turned around and found her heart lurch in her breast. He was on his knees, his head bowed as he almost silently sobbed.
She didn’t recall moving, but the next second, they were in a tight embrace, the kind no one could sever. He threw his arms around her legs and buried his head into her belly, weeping horribly. She felt her heart crumble as she towered over him, tears slipping from her cheeks.
“I’m so damn sorry,” he whispered. “I… I didn’t know.”
Her heart throbbed anew. She weaved her fingers through his hair, realizing that he was as much a victim in all of this as their innocent children.
“I know you didn’t.”
“I was high in those tapes, lost, without any hope… any heart...” he told her, peering up at her, his long lashes coated with moisture. “I was a boy, Khushi. I wasn’t yours.”
She gulped, wiping his tears away with shaking fingers and fell on her knees before him. “I know that… I just can’t get it out of my head. It’s like the worst sort of torture imaginable.”
He cringed, holding onto her. “I don’t even remember it. When I saw the tapes, it was like I was seeing someone else. I was too high that night to do anything but behave like an out of control twenty-one year old. I was immature and stupid.”
“Shh…” She kissed away his tears and saw him for what he truly was. Her husband, the real Arnav Singh Raizada, the father of her children. A man who loved with all his heart and lived to only love them. To keep them happy.
“I know I’m overreacting…”
“No, you’re not,” he bit out, pulling her onto his lap. His hands plunged into her hair and he angled her face toward him. “I wish I could erase every one of those fucking images from your head. I wish our children never had to deal with it. Not now. Not ever.”
Her eyes closed. “I know, baby. I know you would do exactly that if you could.” But someone had done this to them. Who?
She blinked open her eyes, frowning. “Who released the tapes?”
Her husband shrugged. “Bayaz is trying to figure that out, but it’s from so long ago, there’s very little direct evidence. I think it could possibly be AJ. I was close to him back then. Whoever it is, it’s someone connected to my past. Someone who knew me then and planned to use the recordings all against me one day.”
“Someone who has been biding their time…” said Khushi almost to herself, deep in thought.
Arnav pressed a firm kiss to her temple. “I’m sorry I keep messing up.”
“It’s not you. I’ve told you… you can’t control everything, Mr. Raizada.”
He almost smiled. “I wish I could… I wouldn’t allow another tear to ever fall from your eyes. There would be no darkness in our lives. Only happiness. Laughter. Love.”
She snuggled into his warmth. “There will be. One day, there has to be.”
But not today.
Not this day that had almost wrecked her beyond belief.
“My parents have been calling me all morning,” she revealed to him.
He stiffened. “Probably asking you to leave me again. Move in with them. Take the twins with you.”
His voice was calm, but she sensed the tension suddenly gripping him. She yearned to remove it.
“I didn’t pick up.”
“You didn’t?”
“I couldn’t bring myself to.”
He smiled, that sad smile that pulled at her heart. “You couldn’t face them because of me. Because of the shame I brought on our marriage, our love… Your parents wouldn’t be wrong to ask you to walk away from me, Khushi. Not this time. Hell, if it had been our daughter in a similar situation, I would have told her to reconsider her husband too. I would have had a car waiting to whisk her away if need be.”
She smoothed a hand down the side of his face. “Stop it. This is us. You and me. We’re forever, baby.”
“Even after this?”
She nodded. “What do you think forever means, Mr. Raizada?”
He grinned and leaned in to kiss her, his mouth hard and hot against hers. She moaned, finding her body reacting, an urgency burning in her veins. She pulled at his tie and slipped her hands beneath the line of his pants, needing to touch him. His flesh. His heat.
But then he flipped them so he was covering her, keeping her pressed to the carpet as their tongues tangled. She felt his hand rise up her inner thigh and slammed her eyes close at the pure pleasure of the sensation overtook all else.
But almost at once, the images popped in her head again.
Arnav on a mammoth bed, three silken, naked bodies surrounding him.
“Babe, what is it? Are you okay?”
She trembled as she stared up at the man who owned her soul. “I… I can’t. I want to, but I can’t… I keep seeing things…” Horrible things.
Arnav froze above her and then quickly stood, helping her onto her feet. “It’s okay… we’ll take this slow. I know it’ll take you time to move on. It’s fine, okay? Don’t stress.” He started to turn away, zipping up his pants and Khushi caught his hand.
“Where are you going?”
“Guestroom right down the hall. I think some distance might help. What do you think?”
She wanted to say no. Hell no. But she found herself nodding. The last thing she wanted to do was wake him up in the middle of the night with her nightmares. Her screams.
Her husband hid his sorrow well, but she knew how much he hated to be away from her.
“Not for long,” she told him, pecking his cheek.
He almost smiled. “It better not be…I need you beside me, Mrs. Raizada.”
I need you too, hubby.
The words for some reason remained unspoken, lost in the sudden tightness of her throat.
"And Khushi... eat something please. For me."
She struggled not to cry as she raised the sandwich to her mouth. For him.

Master Horatio smiled at the news coverage. The tapes had been pulled by Arnav and his team, but they were out there now, copies having been made by God knows how many people throughout the globe.
His poor, poor godson.
He couldn’t imagine what he and his dear, little wife must be going through right this second.
Humming, he flipped open his laptop and logged onto the ASR fanclub he’d discovered on Payal’s computer days before her sacrifice. It had been easy as child’s play for one of his men to take the stupid Mrs. C’s laptop from her purse and download all that he needed while he kept her busy, whipping her into submission.
He’d been right once again to go to such lengths.
How on earth would he have discovered this alternate world otherwise?
The online club was almost as entertaining as DL these days. No new initiate had quite stirred his blood like Mrs. C. Mrs. Wannabe C.
TruLuvASR: So happy you are back, Mrs. Chote! Any news?
MrsChote: Regarding what?
TruLuvASR: ASR of course. Duh!
Master Horatio grinned, typing: I believe we will soon hear the D-word regarding the Raizadas.
ASRLover91: D-word? Don’t leave us hanging, Mrs. Chote! What does that mean?
TruLuvASR: Death??
MyheartASR: Divorce?
MrsChhote: Dun dun dun. We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen. I foresee the Raizadas separating. Forever.

One week later…
Khushi pushed open the doors of the study to find Arnav in a deep conversation with Aman and NK. The twins were laying on the carpeted floor beside Lia, who was cooing and tickling them.
Arnav left the others and hurried to her side. His eyes bored into hers. “Baby, everything okay?”
She forced out a deep breath. “I think… I think I might know who’s after us.”
The room went silent and even Lia froze, her silvery eyes darting upwards. Arnav drew her to him, his brow puckered. “Who?”
Khushi wet her suddenly dry lips. The past week had been hell without her husband beside her on their too big bed. She’d slept very little as expected, staying awake far into the night. That time alone had been painful, empty, but it had given her one thing: time. Time to connect some dots.
“Mr. H… that’s the name Lia recalls hearing at the mansion, right? Well, I was thinking about that name. Mister H… that single consonant. It reminds me of that sex club Payal used to frequent. The Devil’s Lair… The people there have names like that, don’t they?”
Arnav raked a hand through his hair, no doubt recalling the time she had thought he was interested in it. How wrong she’d been then.
“They do… But from what I remember, they’re called Master X, Y or Z. Not mister.”
Khushi met his gaze evenly. “What if they’re one and the same? I know it seems far-fetched, but the Devil’s Lair fits with everything we know about the person who is after us. It’s a highly exclusive club, and whomever is after us definitely has the means to join it. It fits too with the leaked sex tapes. Voyeurism is common there. Baby, what if Mister H is Master H?”
Arnav was silent for a long moment. “It’s possible… the Devil’s Lair keeps popping up in all of this. They’re exactly the crowd that would have lapped up those sex tapes. But Bayaz investigated it early on. Other than finding out that Payal went there as Mrs. C, there were no other leads.”
“But he didn’t know about Mr. H! What if this is it? That one clue we’ve been searching for all along?”
“You’re right,” he agreed after a pause. “It’s worth investigating if there is a Master H and who he is. Even if it’s just to rule it out.”
“It’s also possible that I heard Master H not Mister H,” Lia added. “I wasn’t paying much attention that day, but I’m sure about the letter. Whomever he was, his name began with an H.”
NK jumped up excitedly. “So, that’s it. We find out if who Master H is.”
“First, we need to find out if there is even a member who goes by that name,” Aman pointed out. “Bayaz can’t require them to divulge their club secrets and override their privacy rules. He needs cause to investigate.”
“Right,” Khushi said, “So we won’t involve him. We’ll do this on our own. To find out about a possible Master H, all we need is a membership at DL. That can be bought easily.”
Her husband shook his head. “It’s not that easy, love. Clubs like DL operate with strict rules and hierarchy. You can’t purchase the top tier membership and then ask to see their membership books.”
“Can we break in, Naanav?” NK mused.
“Impossible. I doubt that membership information is stored in some notebook we can just snap up. Only those that at the top have that type of access.”
“Well, how do we get it then?” Khushi demanded. “There must be a way!”
Arnav’s gaze was grim. “Someone has to join, complete the trials and upon induction request Master H. New members get to request their mentor, even though the request is usually denied and they’re paired up with someone lower in the hierarchy of things. But if there is a Master H, he’ll have no choice but to step forward and evaluate the new member, even if it’s just to reject them.”
“I’ll join then,” Khushi said, her voice not once wavering. “I can use a fake name so they won’t suspect me. And there’s a mask requirement anyway, isn’t there? No one will know.”
“Are you out of your mind?” Arnav growled, grabbing her. “Not only would they make you complete close to impossible tasks, they’d strip you and force you to partake in highly sexual, lewd acts. And in order to be inducted, you’ll have no choice but to agree.”
“I could do it… for the twins.”
“THE HELL YOU WILL! You have no idea the things I saw there the one time I went with AJ. A woman was scarred before me! Her face forever changed! Plus, if there is a Master H, he will recognize you easily, mask or no mask.”
The silence was grim, and even Khushi could think of no argument, not with the tattoo imprinted on her body. Her heart threatened to cleave in two. It would be impossible for them to find someone else to fulfill these demands and the chance of success even if they did was low. Close to impossible. It wasn’t even guaranteed, but--
“I’ll do it.”
They all turned to find Lia sitting up on the carpet, her jaw set at a determined tilt. “It makes sense for it to be me and not Khushi. No one will recognize me. Even if they ran a background check on me, there would be nothing. No record. No family.”
Arnav and Khushi exchanged a glance. “We can’t ask you to do that,” Khushi began, “My husband is right. It’s dangerous and who knows what all you’ll have to face there.”
“I can do it. Trust me, please. For Angeli and Ahaan this is hardly a sacrifice.”
“You don’t understand,” Arnav bit out. “The things that might be forced upon you will be painful, diabolical. Evil. You might be whipped, beaten, disfigured, penetrated with who knows what, forced to do things you’ve never imagined.”
“Naanav is right. Lia, please try to understand, it’s not safe for you or anyone else to go there alone.”
“I’ve lived a life where nothing scares me much anymore,” she whispered, her gaze settling on the man who’d been silent till now. Aman met her gaze unflinchingly.
“You understand, don’t you? You told me you’d do anything for the twins. Well, so would I. I can do this. It can be no one else.”
Aman stood and crossed over to her, pulling her to her feet. His face darkened as he studied her, realizing no one could change her mind, not even him. “If you do this, I’m coming with you. If anything gets to be too much, I’ll be there and I’ll get you out.”
He silenced her with a single look. “That’s the only way it’s happening, Lia.”
Arnav’s voice broke into the tension. “That’s actually not a bad idea... Aman could be there, to just be near you and keep you safe. Trust me, it’s easy to lose yourself in a place like DL. He’ll keep you grounded in that darkness.”
LIa stared at each face watching her, faces that in such a short period had come to mean so much. Swallowing, she tilted her head up to the man she’d dubbed her captor. This time she would go with him into the depths of hell--willingly.
“First thing tomorrow morning then.”

There was a knock on her bedroom door much later that night, long after everyone had given into a restless sleep, including the twins. Lia closed the door to the nursery and pulled open her bedroom door.
Her eyes rounded a bit to find Aman standing there, looking as if he hadn’t slept a wink.
“Couldn’t sleep either?” he whispered, his voice gruff.
She shook her head and allowed him to step inside. He sat beside her on the bed, his body rigid with tension.
“You don’t need to do this, you know. Not to prove your innocence to me or anyone else. I believe you now.”
She couldn’t look away from him. “You do?”
He nodded, his gaze shuttered. “No one will think any less of you if you changed your mind. I know ASR and Khushi, as do you. They wouldn’t want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”
“Like I said earlier, it’s not a problem. You’re worrying for no reason, Aman.”
His jaw clenched. “I’m wasting my time here clearly.”
He rose to leave and Lia grabbed his wrist. She swallowed as he turned to stare down at her, one eyebrow arching up.
“There’s one thing... You could help me with. It would make everything easier.”
She couldn’t quite meet his charged gaze. Not this time. “I don’t mind being naked in front of other people, I could force myself to tolerate it for the twins’ sakes, but I… I don’t want my first time to be with some masked stranger.”
He froze and then swore--savagely. “You’re a virgin?”
Her face felt hot as she nodded.
“And you volunteered to go and join a sex club like DL? I’m going to speak to ASR right now. You’re not going and that’s it--”
She threw herself onto his back, preventing him from leaving. “Please… I know what I’m doing. I’m an adult, I can handle whatever they throw at me in that hellhole. It’s just… I don’t want my first time--”
“To be with a masked stranger. I heard you.” He turned slowly to face her, his eyes boring into her. “What exactly are you asking me, Lia?”
She felt her body quake as she took his hand and set it on one heaving breast. “I want you… to be the first. If there has to be someone, I’d rather it was you.”
He growled under his breath and she was sure he would refuse, but the next second, his hand was clenching on her softness, making her gasp out loud. He drew her back onto the bed and carefully peeled her nightgown off, the one he’d purchased for her. The one she’d fought with him over because it had cost too much.
His hands were gentle as they moved down her body, those dark eyes holding her captive. He kept his gaze on her as his mouth followed the path of his hands, his teeth pulling on her nipple.
She bit down on her lip to keep from crying out, buckling beneath him with some nameless sense of urgency. She thought it couldn’t possibly get anymore intense, but then he touched her there, kissed her in a way she naively hadn’t thought was possible. Gasping, she used her hands to draw him closer still.
“So responsive…” he whispered against her, his tongue moving over her.
Was that a good or bad thing?
She didn’t realize she’d asked the question out loud till Aman’s lips curved against her, his breath warm against her inner thigh. “It’s good, Lia… very good.”
“For DL?”
He froze against her and she could have kicked herself for reminding him of what she’d signed up for.
“You want me to touch you like a member at that club? Like an animal? I thought you wanted your first time to be a bit special. Tender.”
Her skin felt unusually hot under the full weight of his gaze. “I… I’d rather it be like what DL caters to. You don’t need to pretend with me, Aman.”
Oh, how much she really did want him to continue to be tender and so sweet. She didn’t want him to change one damn thing. Her stupid pride just wouldn’t allow her to admit it though.
Aman made a strangled noise and then he slapped her, right between the legs. It stung a bit, but it didn’t feel terrible either.
“You like that, Lia? Want more of that?”
Not as much as whatever he’d been doing earlier, but she forced herself to nod.
He twisted her nipples harshly, to the fine edge where pain and pleasure mingled and darkness threatened. “You want me to take you like an animal?”
“Yes…” she moaned.
He flipped her over and guided her onto her hands and knees, pulling her hair back in one fist.
“Bury your face in the pillows, this will hurt.”
She squeezed her eyes closed as his fingers delved into her, that overwhelming sensation threatening to overtake her again. She was wet, almost embarrassingly so, and for him. She knew it was only because it was him.
Her body lurched forward the next second and it felt as if she’d been split in two. She stifled her shout against the pillow as he gave her a moment to adjust and then continued to thrust into her.
The darkness swirled and under that same strange hold of pain and pleasure, she felt so close to him. Closer than anyone. His movements stole her breath and his dark eyes threatened to steal her heart.
Her eyes flew open as she felt white-hot ecstasy wash over her. He followed her, catching her in his arms, groaning her name.
She went limp beneath him and did her best to forget all about that epiphany. She had no heart to give him. She had nothing to give him.
She was Lia Stumpost, with no past, and no future.
To be continued...
EPISODE 44: Devil's Lair Revisted

Please leave your thoughts and comments below!
More Secret Passion madness soon... 
<3 Tina



  1. thank you so much for the update hun... you so awesome ๐Ÿ˜š❤๐Ÿ˜„... keep up the good work.. keep safe until next time ๐Ÿค—☺

  2. I'm so happy that the babies or safe and ok, thank God... that dirty piece of filt filHaratio... can't wait for Arnav to find out he's the mastermind behind very thing and fix is business good and proper. he makes me so upset sigh... just glad the babies are reunited with their parents, rightfully where they belong ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜☺☺☺☺

  3. Oh I can't say how I m feeling right now. Grt
    Loved it

  4. I don't know what to say...
    I'm literally speechless at the moment...
    I am crying with tears of happiness at the end of the update...
    please please please whatever twists and turns are left...
    please please please don't seperate this little family again...
    It literally kills us to see them suffering like this...
    Thank God! The children are cine now...
    My heart was in my hands till the end...
    I'll be reading SP again from start tomorrow to analyse each and everything again...
    I'll see you next time really soon with more comments and one more update hopefully...
    Till then take care everyone...
    And be happy...

  5. hey Tina darling just checking in to see if your ok. hope all is well... take care of yourself and keep safe๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜š.

  6. Awesome update
    Babies are with arshi
    Let's wait how arnav will find about babies kidnapping by his uncle waiting...

  7. Like finally!!!!!! I can't believe u updated I couldn't resist reading it in one go.. loved it as usual bt just pls no matter what don't separate them again can't even read d separation forget imagining.. looking fwd to more frequent updates. Pls don't make us wait again for months Tina.. update soon..

    1. Thanks for the message! Agreed about the updates.

  8. Finally... After ages..with a super duper updates.. I seriously cringe while imagining the sick mind and dirty play of that old man... Anyway he succeeded.. He made him lyk that.. Its true some of past mistakes will haunt us in future.. As khushi mentioned, things will stay forever in internet.. And her fear is somewhat true.. Scandals lyk this will always stays.. Lets not overthink abt this tapes affecting ahaan and angeli in future..

    Poor khushi .she couldn't even bear the thought of some other woman with arnav (nicole's case as example) just imagine her turmoil watching videos of not one but three women and arnav..
    Arnav persisting to trust him, try to understand and all... Its easy to say but lol๐Ÿ˜ฎ he got so hyper watching very innocent photographs of khushi with karan from their prom night.. He didnt even like the thought of khushi kissing..(first kiss) even though arnav is her first in everything.. i really hate such hypocrites..Its in the past.. Just like khushi accepted his colorfull life,

    Aman and lia.. Another love story weaving.. Much needed one, aman our shadow man, he is constant presence throughout, he too deserves happiness..

    Now who is this mrsraizada. Payal was mrschotte..
    Shyam was sexyzada.

    1. OMG thank you so much for catching that mistake with the usernames! I get so confused with all the usernames but you're right, it's supposed to be MrsChotte. Glad you're liking Aman and Lia as well and yes, agreed about the past coming back to haunt later. Those mistakes in his past aren't going to leave Arnav so easily. And yes, he is definitely jealous when in comparison to Khushi, he has no reason to be! But then again it's ASR and when it comes to his Khushi he's far from logical.

    2. What.. Oh no that means.. Mrs chotte.. Payal is alive . ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜จ or it is some ploy.. But then again who can access her fake id and password?
      Arnav used to reluctant when he first got to know abt her pregnancy.. Now he wanted to keep pregnant all the tym..
      I agree with khushi..why bring another child into complication.. And also, twins r just 2 months old, let them grow up a bit, raizada.. Such a desperate hubby, family planning bhi tho socha karo.. ๐Ÿ‘ป..๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚..
      Thnxs for replying Tina di..

    3. haha desperate hubby for sure or is he... dun dun dun lol
      so many secrets in secret passion :P

  9. Hey tina
    i m so happy that u r back
    i have already read this epi thrice ��

    Finally twins are back where the belong..��
    bt its sad to see that khushi doesnt want to get pregnant again bcaz arnav so desperately wanted her to be pregnant��
    bt hopefully this will get sorted out

    Lastly ; oh god what happened
    Arnav's tape was leaked ; that disgusting horaito��
    how khushi would have feel by looking at them felt so sorry fr her��
    bt tina plz dont seperate thm as it is very painful to read their seperation
    And pllllzzzzz Update soon
    Couldnt wait any longer for the next episode :)

    1. Thanks for the message! I agree about Horatio--he is total scum. And Arnav-Khushi have gone through hell in SP. I hate to separate them too tbh.

      Hope to update soon!

    2. beautifull....pls ypdate soon

  10. Awesome Tina. Finally u have updated SP. I am so happy. It's been so long. Thanks a ton. Will be waiting for more.

    1. Yes, finally! Hopefully the next update will be up soon. I've already written most of it :)

  11. Hi Tina,

    Happy to see you back with an amazing update and your new blog.

    OMG, that was a shocking update with lots of twists and turns.
    Finally they are happy...they got their babies back and safe. but still living in fear wondering who will attack them again.

    Poor arnav though he escaped from RITA but got caught with the real devil Horatio. The man is spoiling arnav's life to the extant that anyone will want to kill themself than living.
    Eww,Its so sick of Horatio to collect those tapes and watch them to satisfy is lust. He even went one step ahead and released those tapes in online just to avenge arnav and his reputation.

    Feel sorry for arnav....for all the losses and death he faced in his life and still facing....even his happiness is being snatched. He should definitely come to know about the person who is behind all his miseries is none other than is uncle.....Horatio.

    Payal's laptop was with khushi right than who is chatting in the name of MRS. CHOTE. Is she really dead or this is planned by Horatio.

    Horatio has taped everything of arnav ...did he tape arnav& khushi too when they stayed in the guest what he gifted them after marriage. Shyam drew arnav's nude pictures....later it disappeared and arnav couldn't find it....i think its with Horatio and he is going to release those too.

    For how long will Horatio be the winner of this game. when will he be finished....that man has destroyed too many life's and still doing it. Wonder what is the punishment for him for all the rascality he did . Its time for arnav to get some clue so that he can fight back.

    Thank you once again for the lovely update...And will definitely be waiting for the next. Please don't make us wait for long.


    1. So glad to hear you enjoyed the update! Yes, I agree with you that Arnav has faced quite a bit, much of it due to a man he trusts :/ There are a lot more twists and turns in store for arhi.

      Agreed about updates--it won't be much longer till next episode.

  12. So good to read this after so long. Happy that the twins are fine. Totally loved the update. Waiting for more. Hopefully very soon๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜‹

    1. Yes, the twins are finally safe and where they belong <3 Glad you liked the update!

  13. Wow what an amazing update. So kids are finally back wth their parents safe n sound.
    Aman nd Lia.... Looks like new budding romance on its way.

    I can relate to khushi viewpoint. Its nt that safe to bring a new lyf into ths dangerous situations. Nd on top of that they need to be fully capable to protect there twins. Khushi being pregnant at d moment wll only add on to their responsibilities n shift in attention . I juat hope Arnav understand her.

    Mr H taped arnav lyk seriously. As shyam wasn't enough to lust over arnav nw even arnav's uncle is pleasuring himself wth these videos... Eww. And he even released them. How much more low he can go.
    Felling so bad for khushi right now. She has trusted ths man enough, accepted all his past with a big heart when arnav himself thought she wll leave once things about RITA s revealed.

    I wonder why during payal n mr. H scenes payal never had an opinion or inner thoughts about mr. H's age factor. Was she so blinded by need n lust? Or mr H s too handsome and active sexually to overlook all other factors.

    (Either writer sahiba maintained a gr8 suspense or maybe i failed to read the hints in between lines) looks like i wll hv to go back n re read old chapters
    But that again makes me say what a story n what twist n turns u come up wth di. Ur stories always keep us hooked and on point.

    I know its getting hard for khushi to keep that trust on arnav. No not about him cheating but being able to protect n gv a normal n healthy lyf to her children if not her. I just hope they stay strong and dont let any misunderstanding n complications affect there relationship. No more sepration plz.

    P. S. How can i forget the last bomb u dropped in form of mrs. Chotte. She is back. Maybe its mr H ...maybe not. Looking forward to the next update

    Epi 43. Title scares me evwn more now. Fingers crossed

    (by shivi.10rocks) IF

    1. I agree with you--Khushi isn't wrong to want to wait for another pregnancy. And as far as Horatio's looks--well in my head i always imagined that his face was partly covered by the mask whenever payal was with him and she was too busy deluding herself into believing it was arnav with her to really focus on the wrinkles and signs of age lol. More secrets unraveled soon!

    2. (shivi.10rocks)

      More secrets... Ahh i can just wait with extreme curiosity n some random guess��. I was re reading old chap. di n screenshots around ch. 15 n 16 r not loading. Do hv a look if its a prblm just wth my network or otherwise.
      Have a gr8 tym n take care.

  14. Glad the kids are back with the parents. Please let this Horaito be gone soon. He is such a sick guy. Is He the one logging under the name Mrs.Chote bcos he is the one who has the uncensored videos.
    Let there be only happiness in Arnav and Kushis life. Hope this tape issue does not drift them apart.

    1. Agreed about Horatio--he is very sick in the head. And I wish there was only happiness in Arhi's lives but in SP there's a ton of darkness surrounding them. On the up side, the tapes might be a bump in the road, but i don't think it's enough to tear arhi apart, do u?

  15. Loved part 42. Kids with Arshi, lovely names. Horrible Horatio ruining Arshi life. Hope this brings them closer instead of making things worse. Eager for the next part.

    1. Ohh glad to hear you liked the twins' names! I really debated them :)

  16. Was waiting for your update for so long.
    I am really worried about Arshi relationship. With Mr.H who is a mentally unstable man and is behind Arnav just because he was obsessed with his mother who was equally unaware about it is now on a mission to destroy him . I just hope Arnav finds out soon about his so called goody uncle or else he will be doomed forever.
    I just don't want any bad happening to Arshi and their babies. Hope their love withstand all and Khushi trusts and understanding remains with Arnav throughout their problems.

    1. I can totally see your POV. Arnav's uncle is a sick excuse for a human being with evil intents. Unfortunately, like Khushi mentions in this part, he has the money and influence to get out without being caught for literally years now. More soon!

  17. glad to see the update..thank you so much.
    Finally the kids are back home and safe with their parents... Nice to see aman nk and lia being with them..
    Master is sicker than i thought...can't believe be taped arnav and enjoying those..sickko...
    Wonder if arnav realise any place he was taped that belongs to his uncle... Did he tape him with khushi?? But guess he is smart enuf to not put it online as it wud be easy to blow his cover..
    Khushis fear on getting pregnant is reasonable, but arnav shud be more understanding towards her fears... She was right and the tales proved that someone is succeeding in ruining their happiness...
    But am sure the tapes will lead arnav to the .master

    1. Glad you caught that...There are several places he could have taped Arhi but like you said... did he? Is he arrogant enough to believe he won't be caught or smart enough to know better? Ull learn more soon ;)

  18. Amazing update Tina. I only came to know about this update today and right away read it!
    You have concocted this complex storyline so well!

    Loved it!
    Thanks so much for updating,

    1. So glad to hear you enjoyed the update hun! More soon!

  19. welcome much happening....don't know what to say...but glad the babies are safe and sound now.....but don't know what to feel about arnav's sex tapes.....even when all these things get settled down, I hope khushi find enough love and kindness in her heart for arnav to forget and forgive these...and give arnav a chance....things will be so much difficult.......can't wait for the next part.....I curse Mr. H from the bottom of my heart.....I wish he gets the worst possible punishment for life........

    Thanks for updating this story....eagerly waiting for the next part...<3

    1. Mr. H thoroughly deserves that curse! He's awful.
      And agreed about the tapes, those images are going to haunt Khushi but we know she does have the strength to move past it... she just needs to find it ;)

      More SP soon!

    2. Thanks so much for your reply <3

  20. Yay!! Update :) Super!!

    This a beautiful update.. I loved it thoroughly.. I have few doubts though.. Horaito enjoys the taped videos.. Ok. Horaito is the master of Payal also.. So he might have a chance to know her too well to know about the id. I remember you not telling the episode of Payal and Anjali death. May be you will tell that in the future which can explain it further

    Where is Shyam Jha? Where did he go..

    Khushi didnt read Arnav mom diary fully. I remember Arnav uncle asking her to marry him in the past. She would have a strong reason/repulsion to not marry him and would have mentioned it in the diary.
    There are lots of knots still.. I am very much excited for the ride..

    1. Yes there are a lot of gray zones that you hit upon: the deaths of Arhi's older sisters... Shyam... the diary. All of these will be unraveled in time. More soon!

  21. Welcome back u were highly missed. Can't wait for when Arnav finds out the truth about his uncle.

  22. First and foremost welcome back... and what an update... must say it was definitely worth the wait... super excited about arnav and khushi getting the babies back but then you had to put in a twist and make horatio release the takes causing friction between arshi... plz update happy story... no more crying and hurdles....

    1. Thanks for that welcome back!
      SP is all about the twists ;) More soon!

      ps. I wish it were happier but it doesn't write that way for some reason! I'm trying to go for a gray zone, not outright black or white fluff.

  23. Who is this Mrs choti now. Were we wrong to guess it as Payal. Or someone is using her credentials. Also what a freak that Mr H is. He taped Arnav. There's so much conspiracy. Arnav's life has become nothing but a joke. Childhood was ruined in Rita's, teenage was ruined by Mr H. And now when he got life with his wife and kids.... the past come back to haunts him. I feels so sad for ASR. Hope khushi's trust does not shake. Why always Arnav....? :(

    1. You're right on both. MrsChote was Payal's username but since she's dead it has to be someone else using it now.
      Yeah, ASR has had a really tough life, Khushi and the twins are his only lights and both are always being threatened.

      Why always him? Well in my head, I imagine that if he is so young and successful, it would lead to a lot of enemies propping up. In this case, it's that plus an old legacy from his parent's time that's messing everything up. More soon!

  24. Thank you so so much for this amazing chapter..I love this Aman-Lia ..<3 hope you are all well .. already waiting for next chapter;)

    1. I'm very good--hope you are as well :) I love Aman-Lia's dynamic so far. More soon!

  25. Ok first of All, thank you soooooo much for updating after a year and 2 months. We all were waiting eagerly. And secondly, the bomb. Payal is alive? Then whose body was it at the fashion show? It's possible some else has access to her ID and is using it but then why would anyone, even Horatio do that? What would he gain by that or what will Arnav lose with that?
    It's all ruining Arnav's life to an unbearable extent.
    Arnav is bearing every possible loss here. His childhood was lost first, then his adulthood was spoilt by Horatio. He lost his sister in the most crucial way and then twins too were taken away. Thankfully they are back at home, with their parents, just where they belong.

    I fail to understand why Arnav is so eager on having another child. They just got twins and the babies are just two months old yet. They have a wonderful period of babyhood and toddlerhood ahead of them. Also I haven't been pregnant yet but I think Khushi just gave birth to two kids and then had to live two months of hell thinking her twins died. She needs to be mentally and physically prepared for a birth again. And then she is fully right. Getting pregnant in midst of all these problems and with some unknown enemy who kidnapped their twins without knowledge is a bad idea.
    On the other side, it's mentioned that they are growing distant because of this stupid thing. Is it possible that it's only for us readers? Maybe Arnav has a plan now. Horatio wants to see him completely ruined and that's what he may do now. Maybe it's his set up to grow distant from Khushi and maybe then show he left her or she left him. Because I think he knows when he has nothing left in life worth living for, his enemy will reveal himself as the villains often do. Maybe that's where Arnav is going. He may be doing it deliberately to lure Horatio.

    And lastly, fuck, Horatio is so sick in mind. He already sunk lowest with the twins but he can still top it. Filming Arnav and then even masturbating on those videos to now releasing the tapes. It's disgusting to a level I can't even imagine.

    Arnav will be so devastated to know that the person he thought so high of is the one doing everything possible to ruin his life.

    Now please please please next time don't take a year again. Please update sooner this time.

    1. Omg has it been that long?! Yeah, it won't be that long again. For sure.

      God, there are so many questions you mention that I wish I could answer. But one thing I can say--Payal is 100% dead.

      I agree about Arnav's rush into another pregnancy at this point makes no sense. But you're right, is there more going on? Does he have a reason? A valid one? Ummm you will find out in the coming updates ;)

      More SP soon!

  26. OH MY GOD! What the Fu** just happened?!!

    For the first time after reading a episode, I don't know what to say. They finally got a little bit of happiness. They finally got their children back! And the proverbial shite hits the fan!

    I can't believe Horatio. There is no measure to the depth of his depravity. Taping Arnav, pushing him towards all the other perversions that way, when he was so vulnerable, that is the lowest of low .

    I really wish Arnav and Khushi have better communication sometimes. Usually they're so good at it, they understand each other with just a look, a touch. But when it comes to these huge revelations, they just don't talk.

    I am still very grateful for Aman and NK... and now Lia. They'll be such a source for love and support for Arnav, Khushi and the babies. Speaking of whom, I love their names. Ahaan and Angeli.

    Now to address the big - humongous - titanic reveal at the end of the episode! What? Who? How? How is it possible? Payal is supposedly dead. Did she survive? Was she alive all this while? If not, then who is using MrsChote's account? So many questions Di. And you left us a cliff-hanger!

    All in all, amazing read. Looking forward to how Arnav gets Khushi to trust, really, truly trust him again. And also how he gets out of this mess.
    Oh!...also, I adored Aman and Lia's interactions.
    Hoping for another update soon.

    Thank you...and take care.
    -IF- Zyrah-Ayok

    1. ps: The title for the next Episode: 'Hell Is Here', has scared the crap outta me! Please, Khushi. You promised you would always love and trust him.

    2. Glad you liked the chapter hun! Especially the twin's names--I struggled with those lol.

      As far as MrsChote--Payal is definitely dead but her username lives on... dun dun dun

      I agree with you on Arhi's lack of communication sometimes. Maybe Arnav should have told her about it before giving a press conference to the world smh. these 2 have a ways to go and i guess that's why this fic is at 40 something chapters with no end in sight lol

      Hint about next chapter--it alludes to not just Arhi but an actual place previously mentioned in SP.

      More soon!

  27. Welcome back tina can't believe u finally updated thank you
    Coming to d update it was mindblowing i juz hate Mr H d fucker released d videos of arnav dat he tapped he is sooo disgusting bastrd poor arshi i dnt knw hw khushi gona take dis n wat d hell Mrschote back dnt payal died?? R was dat fake r is Mr H using d account ahhhh...juz can wait who is behind dis name MrS chote
    Does Mr H came to knw abt d babies r nt?? Plz dnt make us wait a long plz do update ����☺

    1. Glad you enjoyed the update! Payal is for sure dead. And Mr. H is always keeping tabs on everything unfortunately because he is OBSESSED!

      More SP soon!

  28. Amazing.. happy to see ArShi with their children.. god.. babies are saved and are now in their parents care.. the feeling itself is so serene.. good ArShi hired Lia.. Lia-Aman.. interesting.. had this idea that man will do something like this only to revenge as he lost the babies to ArShi.. but how sick is this man.. once again feel bad for Arnav who have to face so much from the people whom were supposed to be his close ones once again will face same thing from the man whom he respects a lot and considers him his well wisher.. but don't want Arnav to show any mercy as this man have caused him a lot and worst was he tried to hurt two newborn's .. loved reading this amazing update after long.. hope you will continue soonish with next part.. as it feels it is gonna be one hell ArShi will be targetted and mainly Khushi have to face her family's ill words about her husband and his deeds.. feel bad for Arnav over all.. also waiting to know who is this Mrs. chote??

    1. Glad you liked the update hun! Arnav and Khushi have both faced a lot and for sure Mr. H deserves to be punished for all he's done--not just to them but to Arnav's parents as well.

      More SP soon!

  29. Omg u posted sp .... What an update Tina .. So far read it two times Please let arnev safe What is the last line Mrs chote ..... I'm bursting with curiosity

    1. Wow you read it twice already! That's a huge compliment.
      More SP soon hun!

  30. Hi Tina welcome back dear, hope you're fine. I'm very happy you finally updated SP
    And i really loved the update, hope khushi trust arnav and they stay together and I'm waiting eagerly for next update

    1. Thank you, I'm happy to be back :)
      Yes, agreed... it's arhi versus the world, right? They need to trust each other, even with the worst situations possible.

      More soon!


  31. I have to say, I can't understand ASR here - I hated him in this chapter. If Khushi doesn't want children, for whatever reason, he can't be mad at her. It's her body and her choice. Who can think of wanting more children right away especially after giving birth and going through the awful trauma? She asked him to pull out and he still tried to change her mind, does her consent not matter to him? It made me sick reading the scene.

    Secondly, ASR needs to stop making those promises, they are not within his control, things will happen and in a world like theirs, they may not even stop - he has endless enemies and people trying to put him down. He can't promise that nothing will ever happen to them. He can try his damnest and upsetting things will still occur. Khushi needs to stop asking him for such promises, it's beyond his control. It is putting strain on their relationship. It's harmful to ask ASR for something Khushi knows he will never have control over and knows very well how he regards his failure.

    What he can promise is that he would try best in making sure they are not harmed and would try his best to make their life worth all this trouble. But he can't promise that there won't be a next time.

    I am excited about Lia and Aman's storyline, there's another brooding hero I know I'll come to adore and now that they are asked to live together, there will be plenty of moments with them. I look forward to those.

    Mr. H is as sickening as ever. This obsession with Arnav is on another level. Also how saddening and true, when Arnav said "Legacies are not easy to live with." He is being punished for a legacy by a madman who is so obsessed over his idea of revenge that people have became less than puppets in his carefully made play.

    Mrs. Chote is back? Surely, Payal is dead and nobody was aware of the account so who...

    1. Wow thanks for the feedback! Loved reading it :)
      I agree that it's not necessary for Arnav to want another child so soon, but perhaps there is more going on in his head to make him feel that way? No excuse for his behavior though.

      Aman and Lia were a lot of fun to write and I'm glad they're being liked!

      Mrs.Chote is back but since it can't be Payal, someone else has brought username back to life dun dun dun

      More soon!


  32. P.S How tragic is ASR's life. There's no end to this misery. His wife's life is always in danger, their children were snatched away from his, he lost his family brutally, spend his youth in RITA, his once trusted friend AJ is now his enemy, his trusted Uncle is a scheming madman, he gets filmed without his consent and then those tapes released without consent too. Truly tragic. A few good moments he gets and then those are marred with more angst. The amount of damage this must put on his mental health I can't even imagine.

    1. Yes, his life is pretty awful overall other than Khushi and the twins. But like he told Khushi in RITA, he would live it all again if it meant he got her love in the end. I thought personally that was one of the most romantic things in this lengthy saga imho <3

  33. Wowww new chapter.. Thank u so much for updating.. Missed dis story so much..

    I m so glad both the babies r fine nd reunited with their parents.. Hope arnav ll fix thing n his own ASRish way.. Loved d chapter ...

    1. Glad you enjoyed the update! Yes, Ahaan and Angeli are finally back where they belong <3

      More soon!

  34. Heyy welcome back!!..hope ur doing great...SP has remained my hot fav arhi FF n its updates are the most awaited ones S always..

    The most beautiful thing about this update is the union of the family together...the twins are back to where they always belong....under the love , warmth n care of their mom n dad....Lia was truly a saviour for Arhi...that moment was truly heart warming when they were all cocooned together in love and warmth...

    Bit alas this beautiful n fresh beginning was such short lived n over shadowed with the most ugliest n disgusting thing ever happened to Arnav ...n whose after effects will neither spare khushi nor the kids ....the most vile and terrible person ever Mater Horaito ...his evilness has made Arnav's life a living hell n keeps on doing so..hope Arnav is able to find and end him soon before it's too's scary to know how much control he has on Arnav n everything related to him....even the online account is been handled by him after Payal n that's where he would have shared the actual videos ....

    Somehow found Arnav's wish to see Khushi pregnant with yet another baby quite insensitive ....Khushi was so right, here they haven't yet found the person responsible for their twins awful state and again to relive those dreadful days when khushi's n babies lives were at stake with so many enemies plotting against them while she was carrying them is such scary ...I hope Arnav sees some sense in Khushi's reasoning n stop behaving a jerk....

    Arnav khushi with their happily ever after seems so impossible with their painful past and dangerous present lurking above them....They truly deserve their happiness n so wish Arnav to find it soon for his loved ones !!

    Hope to see you soon dear, tc����

    1. Loved reading all your feedback <3
      Yes, Arhi try so hard to find their happily ever after and something inevitably goes wrong. Horatio has the type of influence neither of them is prepared for and he's literally spent decades plotting and getting away with it.

      Agreed about Arnav's behavior this chapter... and I'm glad you liked the big reunion scene between Arnav/Khushi and the twins <3

      More soon!

  35. Thanks for the update...babies are safe but khushi is still insecured about the safety ...OMG horatio is such a creep and how arnav is going to rectify the damage done by him...hope arnav will get some hint to trap him and take his revenge for spoiling his life...Mrschote is back and how is that possible...

    1. Horatio is a definite creep and Arhi will need to come together to push him out of their lives.
      Mrs.Chote's username is being used by someone else ;)

      More soon!

  36. waiting for the next update eagerly, don't make us wait too long

  37. OMG Tina... You are finally back and how!!!! Loved the update immensely... It like coming back home... Really really missed reading all about Arnav and khushi and this is simply amazing...
    Loved Lia and Aman bit too.. I can already see some fireworks there... They are so cute together...

    And then there is arnav... He already wants another child... But I can't blame khushi for being reluctant too... No mother would want to give birth in such a situation....
    But the tapes part came as a real shock... Damn that Uncle... He is so twisted and deranged.. He has managed to ruin everything in Arnav and anjali's life since years and nobody even knows about it... Damn him...
    I just hope Khushi doesn't lose hope and continues to trust Arnav after this too... I know it's difficult but please let them be together in this too..
    Waiting for the next update
    Continue soon

    1. Thank you so much for the amazing feedback. Made my day! As always <3

  38. i love it....
    it was great....
    i hope they wont separate again....
    i cant wait to see what happen next...
    please update soon..

    1. I hate separations as well! More SP soon :)

  39. Superb update... Can't wait to read more ๐Ÿ˜€

  40. Loveeeeeeeed the upate! Mrs Chote is alive? Liz-Aman love story looks promising

    1. Aww glad to see Lia and Aman's story catching on!

  41. Tina. Thank you so much for the update. Brilliant.
    Can't believe Master H could go to that extent ..

    I'd read the previous chapters to many times. . now will cling to the new one.

    Thanks once again

  42. fantastic update....ewwww that MR. H is so gross ...he has Arnav on video tapes?? Gross... an he leaked them on the internet ...oh no...
    and its all up in the news...poor khushi...and the kids...
    i understand why she does not want more kids at this point... agree with her
    Mrs.Chote is back?? i thought that was payal... is she alive...or someone else logged in with that account?
    Im so glad the kids are back where hey belong... Lia is a god sent angel.... oh n their care taker... lia - aman are cute together...
    Im glad Shantivan is happy place for now...

  43. My goodness!!! What an update that was, and to see that Mrs.Chote never left!!!! More twists in the update Tina and so glad that you updated ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

    Waiting for the next update!

    Wonderblake (India Forums)

  44. Hi dear
    Retread whole story again to find clues..
    You are awsome writer please don't take break I keep on visit your blog like 5 times per day.
    If uncle is so evil why he helped arnav with khushi in chaper 13?
    He could have screwed them up by making sure they are away from each other.
    Is Payal mrs chote

  45. You just left me speechless with your writing.The story is thrilling and makes you wish for me.You just do justice to all your characters.They are just amazing.SP will always be my favorite

  46. Omg Omg this was one epic update, thanks so much darling !๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—... I'm so glad Khusi and Arnav are reunited with there lovely babies and all is well for the time being. I'm so shipping for Lia and Aman๐Ÿ˜❤, I really hope Lia don't turn out to be a villain and working for Horatio under the quiet and that returning to twins wasn't part of is master plan because I know you're a master mind at twisting a plot @tina lol. I understand khusi's dilemma because I wouldn't want to bring another child in all this mess that's going on. Arnav should understand her plight sigh and then this shit with the tapes happen dammit they can't seems to catch a freaking break (damn you Horatio damn you๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก) and Mrs Chote is back ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜• I so though that person was Payal but then again Horatio was pulling Payal strings so I guess he knew about her lil group chat. I just hope there's no one else behind this but him๐Ÿคž๐Ÿผ... Next update seems like it's going to be intense๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜ฑ... Eagerly waiting and thanks for the update hun until next time stay safe๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜š

    1. PS .. Please don't let Lia be a villain please๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ or no one else close to arshi๐Ÿ˜ฃ because I don't know why my mind is saying the probably she Mrs Chote now lol... You and your mind twisted story got me thinking crazy๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  47. Welcome back Tina........just finished reading update........Superb...... Juts loved it............
    I m glad twins r fine n safe......united with their parents......i know this is a story......but still i m scared for Arshi n their kids........ur writing style is such that i involved in it very deeply n feel it as real instead of story.....i think d tapes r from arnav's yonger days trigger someone's mind n they came to conclued who is behind all this knows Arnav from way back n come across some clue.....ur twist n turns made me curious n eager for next update..... ......story is getting very gripping n interesting........EAGERLY WAITING 4 NEXT UPDATE....

  48. Hey, you are back with another fabulous chapter......... Firstly I must say I read chapter 41 n number of times and loved it so much......... it was so so thrilling with Arnav meeting his babies n later Khushi reaching out to them.......too good........also Lia was awesome........wud love to see more of her in the story, someone positive like her wud be so so welcome in Arshi's life that surrounded with so much darkness......

    anjs from India-Forums.....
    Now to chapter 42, I was so happy reading the normal life of Arshi with their kids........ as normal as it cud be....... Aman and Lia are awesome together, love their banter n caring......

    Later part was very shocking........... always knew Arnav was with women earlier, but never thought he will be in a state where he isnt in control........and that too with 3 women at a time......... anyways, past is past and That Evil Uncle (Cant curse him enough) did do enough damage by getting him addicted to such stuff....... btw, will we get to know that part of his past, after Rita, how his uncle got him in to women and later still he cud manage to do well for himself in business.......... that wud be some tough willpower of ASR, that managed to keep him on track without getting lost in women n drugs.......

    Also I so wish the tapes had not come out, I know thats the only way for Khushi to know.......... but it was horrible to read it happen to her.......... and also that chat room..........all those girls got to download it............ I know i might sound regressive, but its like they were privy to something very intimate which only Khushi had a right to see............ but then i guess with ASR's colorful past such thing doesnt matter as he had been intimate with lots n lots of women already...... feel really sorry for Khushi who had see it first hand......

    Also wonder how her mother n Aunt will react to this news, of course her ex suitor will still be ready to snatch her and Garima is as sick as Payal....... OMG, I so forgot that even Payal will see that video, since you indicated that she is alive....... oh god, its really a big big loss for Khushi and Arnav......... I think Arnav will feel really guilty for what he did in the past and will wish he cud erase it somehow...........

    Wonder how they will overcome this hurdle........eager to see what surprise you give us........

  49. Thanks for the update,๐Ÿ˜Š no wotds to describe lias sacrifice for twins. Loved arshi bonding. I too loved lia Aman pair.

  50. Arnav and khushi always... Them vs world.
    Medias and social medias now a days can make and break relations..
    I think after all these chaos, arnav and family should live somewhere far away.. We envy the life of celebs, but theirs is far worse than us.. Always in media scrutiny.. ๐Ÿ˜ซeven their private life.
    Omg... Aman and liya.. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ as much i dont want liya to enter DL..they all need evidences.. Pls introduce someone for NK also๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…

  51. Superb update.. My heart goes out to arnav when he cries. Luv

  52. Wow..what an update.Master Horatio should start counting his days.lia is a true saviour and she and Aman did it.Just feel sorry for Arnav and Khushi.Hope they soon get their happily ever after.The update was fantastic

  53. This comment has been removed by the author.

  54. Heyy! Welcome back, Tina. Every update of "Secret Passion" makes me even more curious than I am already. It is like an addiction. The more I read it, the more I want it. I wonder what will happen next. I feel like killing Horatio. He is such a pain. But, it would be more interesting to see Arnav torturing him to death.
    There are more villains in this Fanfiction than heroes but the good part is that no matter what happens, it all comes down to one thing, "Them (Arshi) versus the world!"
    Thank you so much for taking out time to update this drama-filled chapter. Looking forward to more drama and secrets being unleashed .
    Lots of love,

  55. Even though it might have killed khushi to see those videos am glad she was willing to move on as she knew it was all in the past.. I thought arnav will force her or be angry on her for not agreeing to be intimate again. Finally logical sense prevailed...
    Maybe for investigation purpose if khushi or arnav create a fake id and login to the website they might find a clue seeing mrs.chote active again... Hope someone thinks of it..
    I really hope theres another way instead of lia going into that hell...she truly is underestimating the hell that is in....

  56. Omggg!! It was really good. Feeling sad for lia

  57. My God!!! story is getting so mysterious and twisted. Feel bad for Lia and Aman. Its heart winching to see your loved get torture in front of you and you can't do any thing other then watching. And the way H murdered Payal tells what is lies ahead for Lia too. But at the end, they are/will be together.

    In flashback, when payal visited to H and seeing the cradles. So, this means H has already planned to kidnap twins...? And using her body was cherry on top for me.

    I don't feel good regarding ASR sex tape leak... this will be bad for his kids in future. Hope ASR find some solution for this.

    Thanks for the update dear. Hope to get in touch with you. Love to chat with you.

    BTW how are you and hope everything is doing well in yours as well as in your nears and dears one life.

  58. Loved the update. This is testing Arshi relationship which will make it strong. Hope nothing bad happens to Lia, Aman is there and is able to protect her. Time for Arnav's team to get the upperhand. Eager for the next part.

  59. What an emotional one.. Arnav's past is very horrible and the people responsible for it have captured all his mistakes to keep him in bad circuit for his life.. nobody from his past would have thought of Arnav getting somebody like Khushi in his life and getting married having children.. they all must have thought of him to be bachelor always and enjoy his life like a playboy.. now that he is settled in his life those guys are still having problem and they are creating problems for him.. however though it is very tough for any wife after watching those tapes Khushi is standing by Arnav.. She haven't given up on him.. that's the beauty of their relation.. Lia is entering a very dangerous place hope she is able to come back from that hell hole.. the thought of places like DL and those masters is so infuriating.. but it is truth this world is very dark and we have to always look for the light in every darkness.. loved reading this awesome update.. Thanks,

  60. emotional....felt really bad for arnav.....he couldn't even remember those horrible many storms will come their way :( ? ...I just hope Lia wouldn't get too caught up with this coming plans with DL.....I fear for Lia's safety now :(...would aman be able to help at all?!!

    awesome update.....eagerly waiting for the next update...<3

  61. Wow so it so grttttt writer iam so sorry I have nvr comment on tis blog evr but I have been ur secret reader secret passion is my fav i have re read it almost 10 times yet evrytime it makes me feel soo happy ....thankyou di keep writing love all ur stories

  62. God! Please do not let Lisa go thru the torture. She is a pure soul and Aman would be perfect for her. Payal supposed to have died I thought. what a waste of life. Beautiful update.

  63. Thank God that Arnav and khushi are together in this... That's the biggest relief ...
    Payal was such a fool i would say... She lost her life because of her own stupidity...what a waste!!!!!
    I am in love with Lia... She is such a sweetheart... She loves the twins so much that she is ready to go in that hell hole... I just hope nothing happens to her after all this ends... Loving Lia and Aman's story..
    Continue soon

  64. Awesome update.eagerly waiting for the truth to come out :)

  65. Hey Tina.Hope that your are ok. Im LSavitree ,your friend from IF & Facebook.I send an email .Plzzz do check it.its urgent.My email ID start like my name lsavitree
    Hope have an answer from you soon

  66. Bravo and high respect for Mrs.ASR she has again proven to be most loyal and madly in love, highly respected women and wife of Mr.ASR. Truly Arnav is very lucky to have her as his soulmate as his life partner.
    Staying with your loved ones and taking their partners imperfections and giving their love, strength and support is what truly depict the successful of relationship.
    Khushi is definitely on the right track and what she told about Master H, is what ASR has to find out. His so called God father, so near to him yet so far but he will find out for sure.
    For the first time I feel Master H, is going to face the biggest defeat of his life and by none other than Mrs ASR.
    I just hope Lia and Aman changed their mind soon and go for another alternative. This highly dangerous and not to forget risky to as Mr H will easily find the link between Aman and ASR.
    Waiting for the next one.
    Please update soon.

  67. Oh my god! Feeling so bad for Lia, God knows how those vultures are gonna torture her. But this step is kinda necessary. I hope Mr H's true identity comes out real quick.

    I want him to suffer through a thousands of hell for what he did and still does. Who sacrifices human souls like that.

    And I also I felt so bad for Arnav. Yes, that man had a colorful past, but that is something he is clearly ashamed of. He has changed himself to the extent that I can now see him as the most perfect husband a woman can ever have and YET, his past keeps coming up in the most dreadful kind of way. And the one woman who was supposed to love him unconditionally, even she got super upset! I know where khushi is coming from, and while its quite natural for her to react the way she did, I still expected her to do better.

    In the end though, when she saw Arnav breaking down, she pulled herself together and I could finally heave a huge sigh in relief. Thank Goodness, Arnav got his anchor back!

    Waiting for the next ep. But more than that, can we please have the reposts of the remaining chappies of FL please!

  68. Seriously what is arnav paying the investigators for??? Khushi figured it out...
    Oh Lia don't do this... At least Aman will be there...
    Oh come on aman... She was just lying... Could have been gentle...

  69. Wow is the word, Tina! Amazing write up, usual! I agree with other readers. What is Bayaz and the high priced investigators doing? When Arnav touched on the line " It must be someone who knew me at that time", I was mentally forcing him to think more on that line :) :) Hope Arnavrealizes there is only one other person who knows him from RITA days, that is his (monster) uncle... I just want him punished soon and hope he doesn't die peacefully.

  70. It's getting darker just hope Arshi will be together in this darker phase of their life specially Khushi she needs to be strong & both need to be more alert than before .
    I'm eager to know what punishment u desidde for his uncle ๐Ÿ˜  & world should know his deeds as well as how psychotic person he is ๐Ÿ‘น๐Ÿ‘ฟ

  71. Reading this after a long time
    Very interesting update. Lia decided to enter DL for the sake of twins. Hope she will success in the mission and nothing bad will happen to her. Why didn't Arnav think about the days after he returned back from RITA? If so he will able to recollect with whom he spends his time then. And what work Bayaz is doing?

  72. It was amazing tina di.
    Pls don't let Lia die and pls pls let evil old he ratio leave a clue.
    I love ur works they are amazing bae.
    Can't wait for the next update. Pls update soon dear
    When are u starting a new ff of arshi?
    Love u

  73. Poor arnavs past is haunting his present and khushi and kids has to bear the burnt along with god Mr.H is using payals computer as Mrs.chotte and hope this wont add more trouble to arnav and khushi in future...such a creep and how the hell will arnav or khushi gets hint even though khushi is guessing it right ...hope lia will be safe from this hoak and aman will guard her ....loving amalia(aman + lia) romance and slowly love is blooming but have to wait where they stand....

  74. Really great update ๐Ÿ˜˜ khushi is genius. ... let's see how can lia survives this and how can aman tolerate this ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

  75. No words to describe the last update....

  76. Ohhh soo glad to see your 43 update it was beautiful though it has a lot of sadness and pain but great full for Khushi to not turn her face from Arnav it would be heartbreak for Us hope nothing happen to them at least for now ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿป๐Ÿคž๐Ÿป

  77. Baby hold on. Awesome Magnificent includes everything suspense romance thriller lots of excitement. Simply amazing
    Loved it tremendously. Thnx so much.

  78. I thought Khushi read Samaira ' dairy and got the hint. Lia and Anand are. Lovely chapters

  79. Kya chapter hai...ek k uper ek ...dhamakedar...I don't want to comments here coz m so busy in reading together without break...but can't atop my self...heheh...I'm so glad ki twins re Safe with their parents . but Arnav's past not leaving him at all...n poor Khushi... How much she have to suffered from Arnav's mistake n past n now their baby's too...n I love the bond arnav n aman share...litterly I was crying when I read aman n Arnav's convo...

    Now another love story blooming in the air...aman n lia...

    I hope they will b safe in DL...

    Can't wait to read further chapter...

    Awesome work dear...


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